MIL Inviting People to Bridal Shower that I've Never Met? Long

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: It is fine to have people you don't know at your shower
    yes : (17 votes)
    61 %
    no : (10 votes)
    36 %
    I'll explain below : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I know that I wouldn’t want to go to a shower for someone I’ve never met.  I does sound like the shower guest list is getting out of control since some how they invited your boss without you giving the contact info.  It would make me wonder who else they dug up to invite?

     

     

     

    That being said I’m not sure there is anything you can do since 1) you’re not in charge of the shower and 2) it seems like the invites already went out.  Just make sure at the shower you are on your very best behavior and show a lot of appreciation to everyone.   Not that I think anyone would think badly about you for this, but being extra nice will help ease your fear of being seen as selfish. 

    ETA: Maybe these people are very close with your MIL, and she has talked about you so much they wouldn’t think it’s weird to be invited.  My mother has worked at the same place for ages and is very close with her coworkers.  I haven’t met some of them but I’m pretty sure they know all about me, my FI, could probably tell you my dogs name.  So in that case it wouldn’t be so odd.

     

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My MIL helped throw one of my bridal showers and she invited about 6 friends who I had never met. They were really good friends of her, so why would I refuse them invitation to my bridal shower in which they would be gifting me things out of the generosity and kindness of their heart? I did feel a bit awkward initially, as these people were so nice to someone they had never met, but my DH’s rationale is my MIL has attended many showers for her friends children and this was their way of saying thank you back to her.

    The shower is thrown in your honor. If your FMIL wants to invite a few people, I would let her and be gracious. Are they invited to the wedding as well? I had a great time at my shower and it was a great chance to meet some wonderful new people. And I got a lot of gifts to boot!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1836 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    it happened to me, as well.

    it did seem awkward, but my mother in law is SUPER social and has all these great family friends that were invited to the wedding, so it was offensive to not invite them to the shower.

    it all worked out fine and it was nice to meet them, in the end.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    There were a few of my MIL’s friends at my shower whom I had never met.  It wasn’t a big deal.  I met them, they were super nice, and it gave my MIL and GMIL people to talk to since none of H’s other family could make it.  H actually showed up to that shower at the end and hung out a bit so he could hang out with his side.  It worked out pretty well!

    Post # 8
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Stiletto13:  I wonder if it’s area-local? I would never think of inviting someone tho has never met the bride to the shower, but my MIL invited like 20 women to her daughter’s baby shower that had never met her before, and no one thought taht was bizarre at all!

    Post # 9
    Member
    907 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    It’s perfectly acceptable for people you don’t know to be at your shower. My husband’s family live in a different state, and I had never met 90% of the people that his parents invited to our wedding. So, when shower time came around, his family threw us a shower for their side of the family, and I had never met over half of the people there. I knew his immediate family, my mom, my MOH, and that was it. He has a huge family and his parents have a lot of friends who live far away that they wanted at their son’s wedding. It was better to meet them at the shower than at the wedding itself. 

    The shower my side of the family/bridesmaids threw me, I knew everyone in atendance though. 

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    5192 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    In this case I wouldn’t sweat it.  First of all, you don’t even know these people, so if they end up thinking that your greedy…who cares?  Second of all, in some circles it’s common for mom’s to invite their friends to showers even though they aren’t coming to the wedding.  Some of these ladies just want to join in the fun that their friend is having as their babies go off and get married.

    It’s fine.  Dont’ stress about it.  In any case, you didn’t plan the party so it’s not really your fault if others get invited.  

    Post # 12
    Member
    41 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think if they are family members you haven’t met, that’s one thing.  But I’d be soooooo worried that everyone thought I was gift-grabby, inviting people I didn’t know :(.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4511 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @September29:  this is exactly me. I had two showers – one from my side of the family, and one from DH’s aunts. MIL is very social and has lots of friends who I had never met before (also invited to the wedding,) and they were all invited to the shower. It’s only as awkward as you make it. (I still can’t really remember any of their names, and occasionally I’ve run into them in the store or wherever, and they remember me, lol!) Hey, more presents! 😀

    Post # 14
    Member
    1836 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @red_rose:  hahah yes. when we first started planning and i saw her list i said to my (now) husband… “who the f are all these people?!?!? come on!!”. but after a while i realized that my mother in law ACTUALLY TALKS to all these people. it was just completely beyond me. she truly keeps in touch and considers herself very good friends with many people. i guess im anti-social 🙂

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