- 3 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
After typing this I realized it is little longer than I intended, if you’d like to read on then thanks in advance.
I am a little nervous today because of a situation with my mother in law. Maybe you bees could help me out.
The shortest way I can describe what happened is that about two years ago seh and DH had an argument and she did something rash, made some less-than-friendly statements about me and in turn DH made a decision. He moved out everthing he owned that day and he had not spoken to her since. She also did not come to the wedding (on her own accord).
Now, just to clarify, we weren’t shutting her out due to anger (though for a while we were angry with her, but we have made steps to move past that daily). We feel life is too short to spend it in resentment. I greatly dislike feeling angry, it’s such a negative and toxic thing that can so easily overtake your entire life if allowed to.
Also, many of the things she said were actually the words of her husband, DH’s stepfather, spoken through her, and DH realizes that. He and DH have never been close but were social, however DH doesn’t trust or respect him, for many reasons.
We cut her out because her actions had caused tension between us, and it had become a pattern with her. DH felt that the best thing for him was to cut off contact, though he still loved her, and I supported his decision.
Now, on to recent events. A couple weeks ago we decided to give her a flash drive with some wedding photos on it. We have never wanted her to think we hated her, but we also were setting up a firm boundary. Since then we have made small talk with her whenever we see her in public. All was well.
Today we saw her again, and made small talk as usual. We then went home.
This is the weird part. She text DH’s father and asked him to relay a message to DH. The message was this: “Please have DH call me around 8:00, it’s important.”
I’m nervous because 1) cryptic message and 2) this just sounds like drama waiting to unfold to me. Then again, these are biased ears, so I’m automatically hearing the worst.
I really hope that she is not going to bring something dramatic into our lives again when we JUST recently decided to let down the barrier holding her back. That would not only be a slap tp the face, but also very disheartening.
So now I’m just waiting around on 8:00. DH has decided to call her in good faith. She has not has his number for a while, he had to consider whether or not he was ready for her to have his contact info again.
Whatever the reason, it has made me very nervous bees.