(Closed) MIL is officially insane and her BF is even crazier (long vent)

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

You can’t change crazy! ha go back and read my posts about my crazy MIL, and yes it is his mother but when she starts effecting your lives in a horrible manor then it may be time to rethink your relationship with her.

My MIL is beyond crazy too, such a FB stalker as well, my DH deleted her off his FB and asked me to do the same because she was constantly posting crap about us, and upsetting us. Even to the point of suggesting that my DH and I deserve to have horrible things happen to us while we are on our HM and if we die god help her, people on her FB were responding saying ” omg what happened, what happened” and then she called my Mom a whore on FB and my DH lost it.

Our intent was never to cut DH mother out of our life but that is what has happened in order to make our life happy and drama free. We gave his mom 7 months to knock her crap off and she just got worse and worse. My DH feels that he has no room for that in his life and she is the one who has to live with not having her son in her life and not being apart of us.

I do know that it does hurt my DH that the situation has become what it has, but I also know the amount of hurt she caused him when she was in our life was 10X worse. She sucked the life out of him, he is happy now because she isn’t causing drama and being so mean and hurtful. If I should you a pic of what my DH looked like when she was doing all these things to him to now you would be shocked. He lost tons of weight, he was depressed, when he tried to be happy she took that away from him.

I’m not saying this is the way to go for you guys, but you both have to draw major boundries with your MIL, you have to shut her down when she starts acting crazy. It was baby steps with us with my MIL. We would talk to her until she started to go nutty and as soon as she did, we shut it down and hung up the phone. We wouldn’t respond to her until she could act like a human being, sure, it never lasted long but it was still on OUR terms and it still allowed us to control how she made us feel and the aftermath of it. Some people will realize what they are doing the more you shut them down and some people won’t, but I think it’s a chance you have to take for your own healthy relationships. People like that are toxic.

Post # 5
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Wow, that is insane. It sucks that you had to deal with that!

I’m a bit confused….why did the BF call you and not your husband? And I know your husband doesn’t like confrontation, but considering the “hysteria” coming from his mom, why wasn’t he talking to her?
He’s already said his piece and she definitely sounds manipulative…I think you guys are just going to have to wait this out.

Post # 7
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Honey, this really does suck.  Really.  It must be very hard for your DH to handle all of this, but he’s probably very thankful for you.  You’re his rock.  🙂

But, my advice is to stop condoning her behavior as well.  You’re trying to call her and talk sense into her, but the fact is, you even said it yourself, she’s crazy (and obviously has been since he was a little boy).  I’m afraid you can’t change people (and you can’t change crazy). 

You need to stay out of it.  Yes, you are his wife.  But, if your DH is not willing to deal with it, then neither should you.  You both can confront this matter as a team; yes … I can see that.  But, you calling her to fix things doesn’t help his cause of “I’m letting her know I’m not taking her crap anymore”.  Now, its no longer a team effort … its you trying to salvage something that they both have been working on for years. 

I’ve read many posts from you regarding your MIL.  (and truth?  I think mine is bad, I mean I KNOW she’s bad, hurts FH, etc … but not quite like this).  But, I would talk to your DH and if he says “That’s it … this is the way I’m proving to her that she cannot act like this” then you need to support him and go along with it.  But, if you call her and try to fix “crazy” … its only going to end with you wondering “How on earth does this woman survive life thinking that its the end of the world on everything?  Why doesn’t she just pick up the phone and call?”  Because common sense isn’t her best feature?  Drama seems to be.  (unfortunately).

As far as her BF … man, screw that guy.  Who is he again?  Oh, no one?  Great, treat him as such.  lol

In the meantime, look at the bright side.  You’re married to your best friend.  Your his rock.  And the life/family that you both are building together will be strong.  That’s something to look forward to.  🙂 Good luck honey!!!

Post # 8
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

ahhhh, now I see why you called.  That’s called not reading all the posts before replying.  Eeeeek!!!!! lol

The topic ‘MIL is officially insane and her BF is even crazier (long vent)’ is closed to new replies.

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