- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
Last night on my voicemail I get this from MIL’s BF:
“Melissa this is MIL’s BF I just got to MIL’s house and she’s in tears. This is ridiculous. What the F did she do this time? You better get your A$$ over here and explain what the hell is going on right now.”
WHAT???? My Daddy has never even spoken to me like that!
A little back story: DH had a rough childhood. Physical abuse from Dad and mental abuse from Mom. His mother, and everyone in the whole family besides Dad, has sought therapy in order to deal with their history. DH has confronted his mother about a lot of her abuse but she just gets upset and nothing changes. She claims she didn’t know that it was abusive behaivor. Plus he hates confrontation and will just allow her to still do crazy stuff and not say anything. It makes me so sad. She hurts his feelings so much. It’s like he’s still a little kid when it comes to her.
My MIL and I had a couple of unproductive arguments during our wedding planning. We always made up after and moved forward, but I always was hurt about a bunch of things that she said and did.
So I let DH listen to the message and he explains to me that he “de-friended” his mom on facebook. (she has a crazy unhealthy obsession with FB. Even being late to her grandson’s (DH’s sons) bday party to finish planting on farmville) I ask why and he explains to me that he has requested that she not be friends with his son’s mother on FB because it has caused some problems. His ex started discussing how great he looked on our wedding day and he said it creeped him out. His mother refused to not be friends with ex so he decided that she chose his ex over him and that was it. He said he did it to prove a point that he wasn’t dealing with her bs anymore.
Instead it turned into an all out war. I called his Mother and her BF answered and immediatley started screaming at me. I told him to back the “f” off and that I wasn’t calling to speak to him and that if he ever spoke to me like that again there would be hell to pay. Let’s say that at this point, I lost my temper, and did not act lady like at all. It was ugly to say the least. When MIL gets on the phone she has now taken it to a crazy level stating that we have tried to cut her out of our lives. I was like it’s facebook, this is not life. She then says that DH said he would call her today and didn’t so she’s assuming we aren’t ever going to speak with her again because DH defriended her on fb. Hello…he’s a guy they never call when they say they will. Pick up the phone and call him and ask if you think that’s what is happening. Don’t have your BF calling and threatening people. The fact that she thought she was disowned, just proves to me that she knows her children might actually do this one day.
So I explain to her. DH told you that it bothered him you were still friends with his ex on FB because it lets her too much into his life. I told her he believes that you have opened up a window for her and he doesn’t like it. MIL then says ya he talked to me about a couple of times, but he never gave me an ultimatum. I was shocked. Should your son have to give you an ultimatum and telling you that it bothers him isn’t enough?!?! She then started talking about my family and how I shouldn’t judge them because my family is no better. I didn’t even understand how this got on the table. She just brought up my family to piss me off I think. I told her I was done with the conversation and I was going to enjoy dinner with my family.
Needless to say, no one has talked to her since. I don’t know what to do anymore. DH just doesn’t want to deal with it and really either do I, but it’s his mother, regardless of how insane she is. However, I don’t want it to be unhealthy for him and continue to feel like she doesn’t love him. What to do?