MIL is visiting during my birthday week

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@tmsing:  From what you say about her, I think you and DH need to take a united stand and refuse to let her stay overnight at your house. Perhaps get rid of any spare bed so it’s not possible.

Since he’s said yes this time, it may be hard to avoid. But is it too late to reschedule your work? I think you should ensure that you are working the days MIL is there. Let your husband spend quality time with his mom if he wants to. Pay for a cab from the airport. It’ll be money well spent.

You and DH also need to set ground rules that no one commits to something big without checking with the other. He committed to visiting his relatives? Well bad luck, he didn’t check with you, you’ve got things to do.

And DH needs to make it a top priority that he gets his driver’s license.

Another thought: can you stay somewhere else on the weekend?

Post # 4
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Ok…I’ve just got one question: why hasn’t your husband cut off contact with this woman? She sounds manipulative and all around just plain awful. She makes her sons and you feel so bad that you/they cut?!!! Talk about toxic. Why keep this in your life? She gives your husband anxiety so bad that he physically shakes and therefore cannot get a drivers license! That is not someone you should be bending over backwards to accomodate.

Post # 7
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You’re not her chauffeur – encourage your SO to convince her to rent a Car.  if she asks about it, tell her your car’s unreliable and can’t make the trip.  It’s possible that if she has to drive to you guys, she might not find the trip to you worth the trouble and she’ll stay with relatives.


you also need to have a serious talk with your SO about volunteering you to drive other people places.  Not ok.

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