MIL issue!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@tiffanyscanlan:  Why is your FMIL putting this on you? Step out. This is between your fiancé and his family. Let him deal with them and work it out. 

Post # 4
Member
460 posts
Helper bee

@Zhabeego:  Agreed! I have had to take this approach with my s/o and his family issues as well (and if you read the thread I posted this morning in this same section, you will see why). The only time I get involved is if he needs me to back him up, or if I strongly disagree with whatever the issue at hand is (like we are having happen today). 

OP – tell your man what the deal is, what was said, and by whom, then step away from it and let him deal with it how he chooses. You don’t need to be the bad guy here toward any of them … They made their bed, so let them tuck themselves into it how they see fit.

Post # 6
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@tiffanyscanlan:  That is a really unfair position your FMIL is putting you in.  Not fair at all – I would leave this one between your FMIL and FH, but ultimately if she thinks she can manipulate you and your guest list by threatening to not show up, then that will be on her, not you.

Post # 7
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Zhabeego:  Exactly what I thought! You can tell ur husband the situation and have him deal with it. Dont feel obligated to solve this issue as its not YOUR issue– its your MIL’s. Also, I think its SO immature that she would not show up to her sons wedding because of a guest she doesnt like. Wth?? Shes not obligated to talk to him– she can simply ignore him and be there for you guys

Post # 9
Member
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@tiffanyscanlan:  This is rough, since your DH wants him there.

Just a story from personal experience — I had a second cousin I DID NOT want to invite, but my mom insisted I send an invite to please my aunt (who threw my bridal shower, long story). He is an alcoholic deadbeat who ended up leaving the reception trashed, PUNCHED his wife in the parking lot as they were leaving, and several family members got involved to prevent the police from arresting him. We had no idea this happened until several days later (we were already at our hotel at that point), but this just infuriated me because 1.) other guests probably saw this go down, which is extremely embarassing, 2.) this just solidified why I did not want him there in the first place, and 3.) I can’t believe family got involved to prevent the police from getting involved — I would’ve told them to cuff him and haul him off to jail for domestic violence! Drunk or not, unacceptable!!

Post # 11
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Mrsgurzakovic:  No, it isn’t. Big deal, she “can’t stand” this cousin. Then just be pleasant and avoid him. it’s called being a grown up.

I don’t like that she put this on you. and I especially don’t like that she immediately went to using threats to get her own way. Sounds like your FI’s characterization of her is spot on. This just didn’t need to be an issue – let alone made into such high drama.

by the way, what’s a drop kick?

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