MIL issues!!!

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

eecuadrado:  We must share a MIL. I could have wirtten this post. That is all 🙂

Post # 4
Member
602 posts
Busy bee

So you think she should reschedule her plans to accommodate you? That’s pretty selfish, don’t you think? Maybe she doesn’t have your child on her mind at all times. Not every conversation needs to be about him. She called to talk to her son for whatever reason. And she did acknowledge your kid by telling her son to give the baby a kiss for her. Really, what more do you want? Do you want her to sit around all day waiting for you to call her so she can skurry over and see your kid? The world doesn’t revolve around the person that you made.

Post # 5
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

eecuadrado:  basically, she wants to be gramma under her terms, at her convenience. But, only when the scales are tipped and she feels visiting is uneven. Score keeping, guilt trips and refusing to go with the flow, are all signs of emotional manipulation. Don’t Fall for it.

Personally, I cut someone out of my life for that. I thought about how this person makes me feel, and refused to allow my kids to ever feel the way I have. Its awful and can make you feel hopeless, like no matter what, you’ll never make an emotional manipulator happy.

My advice is really nothing. You’re doing fine the way you are, and not putting effort toward a relationship with MIL is the best thing you can do for you and your child.

Post # 6
Member
2763 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Omg to in-laws! I never understood why everyone had problems with them (you just always hear about the dreaded in-laws) until I got them! And it’s weird because I actually like pretty much everyone, except for my husband’s brother & his stupid alcoholic, nasty, conniving, self righteous, stuck up wife. But as a whole,  his family is just drama! I can’t stand how much time & energy they command. I hate it! It’s probably because ALL of them live in town. So, I hear ya on needing to vent!

Post # 7
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

eecuadrado:  omg i could foresee myself writing this exact post next year!  My MIL already complains about my DH not calling her…yet when we do reach out to her she always makes excuses! 

Post # 8
Member
3531 posts
Sugar bee

ilovebacon:  True, but with a kid schedules can’t just be rearranged as easily.  It’s how the MIL is going around this which seems to be the real issue here.

Post # 11
Member
2516 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

ilovebacon:  +1…I would be put off if I got a call being like ‘ do you want to see the baby RIGHT NOW? No? OK wait until the next time I call!”. 

Maybe try calling her on a Monday and asking if she wants to come over on a Saturday so she can make time? Or call her and say hey can we stop over tomorrow? Do you just drive over and assume she will be home?

I get she  is frustrating ( I remember your other posts)  but try planning ahead a little bit and see if it helps. My DHs family is a last minute type family ( like inviting us out to dinner 6 hours ahead of time) and it annoys the ever loving fuck out of me. Im very busy and last minute stuff usually invovles me not getting to the gym or having acrock pot meal go directly in the fridge or something.  I just want to know a day or two ahead so I can plan accordingly. 

Sounds like the majority of the issues in this post alone seem like they could be solved by planning ahead of time?

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