MIL Keeps Asking About Whether I Used Her Gift…How To Handle?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

i think you should go. it was probably a gift she thought you would LOVE and it’s probably really insulting you’re not jumping at the chance. you may not be excited about it but i think it’s worth it to spare her feelings and go and try to enjoy it. you might end up liking it more than you thought, especially with everything you’ve had going on lately. i think you will look really ungrateful if you send someone else in your place.

Post # 3
Member
6740 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

It is not something I would enjoy either, but if I were you I would just suck it up and go.  I’m sure she meant well and there is no sense in creating bad feelings between you and your mother in law.

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m not a spa person either but I would go just to make her happy and to use it. I mean there’s a lot worse things she could have made you do, so just find a day and use it. 

Post # 5
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

marie_antoinette:  Choosing to let the gift expire or sending someone in your place would be hurtful to her. She is going to be your MIL for  long time.

As a compromise, can you contact the spa to see if you can bring a friend and share the experience with each of you splitting the services that would have taken the full day for one person?

Post # 6
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour

marie_antoinette:  Honestly, I’d just go. I know it’s a drive, but it was an expensive gift – and its always a good idea to keep you MIL happy haha! 

Post # 7
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

My husband bought me a spa day at a place an hour away from our house.  I chose a rainy day to cash in my spa day and my husband made it even better by dropping me off and picking me up.

If there is no way you can see yourself cashing it in, then you should say something to your MIL.  If you cash it in and use it, she may buy more for you in the future.  I would let her know that while it was a great gift, you just don’t like strangers touching you or it’s too far from your home.  Then give her the option of taking it back so she can use it since she obviously likes going there.  I wouldn’t expect a replacement gift.  There really is no nice way to reject a gift but in this instance I think it’s better to be honest.

Post # 9
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

marie_antoinette:  find something that you like, go for lunch, and call her to join you, saying that you just don’t know if you have time to use all of the gift certificate’s worth of treatments and that you’d love to spend time with her there. That way, the whole certificate gets used and you stay there for less time, and she gets to share the experience with you?

You don’t really like spa treatments? Try going through their whole list and finding something that might appeal to you? There may be something that you just didn’t know a spa did.

I tend to be more in the camp of use it and be gracious, even if you’re screaming inside because it’s something the other person was really wanting to experience. 

Post # 13
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m not a spa fan either, so I get it. But since she seems so invested in you using it, I’d just suck it up and go. Better to lose one day at the spa than have a bitchy MIL forever!

Post # 10
Member
957 posts
Busy bee

If you don’t use it she will ALWAYS remember the time she tried to do something nice and you were ungrateful. 

Now I know it’s not that you’re ungrateful, but that it isn’t your thing. That’s not how she will see it though.

I think you should go in the interest of keeping a good relationship with your MIL. 

Post # 11
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m not a fan of the whole spa thing either. Maybe as another bee said they would split up the value between two people so you could bring someone with?

Post # 11
Member
957 posts
Busy bee

marie_antoinette:  I’ve done that with a manicure gift card before and the spa said it was totally fine. It probably depends on the place though.

Post # 14
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

marie_antoinette:  i am not a spa person either.  i do not like massages.  but i do like facials.  are there other services at this salon that you could use.  could you bring a friend with you and split the gift card so you don’t feel pressue to use it all.

Post # 15
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

MrsGatito: +1. 

marie_antoinette: Sorry about it, because I know you are very busy and not particularly into spas, and I can sympathize with both of those things! But I think you just need to use the gift card. You risk creating all manner of unpleasantness and hurt feelings with your mother-in-law if you don’t. Not, repeat Not worth it.

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