- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
As some of you probably know, I do not care for my mother in law. She is very judgmental, overly critical, very manipulative and pretty much a complete drama queen. Before our wedding she went behind our back to try and change the time of our rehearsal, tried to change the seating arrangments, tried to change pretty much everything that we had already taken care of, paid for, and planned out. She made some awful comments about my sis and her boyfriend (baby daddy) since she is pregnant, not married, and doesn;t plan to marry her bf soon. After the wedding she told us our service music was horrible and the sermon by our priest was scandalous (which it wasn’t).
Because of this and things she had said to me, about me, about my family, etc my DH told his mom after our honeymoon that her behavior was out of line, inappropriate, and that if it were to continue we would be limiting contact with her because she caused both of us a lot of pain, hurt, frustration, and anxiety. The conversation seemed to go fine and we have seen her a few times since. She has not apologized or since acknowledged their convo and will not speak to me.
About a month ago we invited his fam (Dad, mom, sister) over to have Christmas dinner since as newlyweds we want to spend the morning together rather than participate in their festivities. They told us that sounded nice. Yesterday his mom called to say that unless we have her over before Christmas so she can explain how we misunderstood her behavior (and therefore we shouldnt be mad at her), then she, FIL and SIL will not come for dinner. DH said that we would not entertain a discussion of events because regardless of her intentions, we got hurt and therefore she should apologize (Go DH for standing up to her!). She then cried and said that was what she was trying to do (after admitting she just wanted to tell us we misunderstood her).
Now DH is very upset because that is his family, they live 20 minutes from us, and he really thought they would all come. He is also upset that his mom wont let FIL or SIL come either (yes I said wont let them). She has always been the kind of woman who is “it’s my way or it’s not happening). I know for myself, I feel more strongly that I hate her because DH and I could have gone out to CA with my family if we knew she would pull this crap. I also don’t think very highly of people who bail on their family at the holidays because of being a childish, selfish drama queen. I also think my FIL needs to grow a pair and stand up to her (as does my 20yr old SIL but I know that she is young and that no one ever wants to deal with the drama from my MIL…
Part of me wants to just have her over because of how upset DH is… But we also both know that we need to have strong boundaries with her and do not want to continue dealing with her manipulation all the time. I guess this is just a vent. Thanks for reading. :/