MIL planning unwanted surprises

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Tell her that, while you appreciate that she wants to help out, her vision doesn’t match your plans and you don’t want her to keep wasting time and money on things that won’t be used.

Post # 4
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

Be Honest- Tell her the truth. Explain that as your parents are paying for the wedding, you feel that you need to make your parents happy. Explain how your mother is currently not happy with some of her surprises and how they don’t fit in with the overall plan that you mother has planned for the wedding.

Post # 5
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

On the fence…if she is normally quiet/sweet and you get along she’s probably just super excited and wants to be involved. I kind of hate that the wedding “vision” now trumps using sweet handicrafts from older relatives. Now if she can’t sew worth a damn that’s another story haha.

Post # 7
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I understand where you’re coming from, I abhor burlap. That would be a nasty surprise on my wedding day. 

You could tell her that you are working really hard to put together the look and it might not work (or there might not be “room” for) decorations that aren’t part of the plan.

Is she throwing the rehearsal dinner? Maybe you could suggest they could be used there or try to get her on board to go nuts decorating the rehearsal dinner. While I hate burlap, if my FMIL wanted to use MILES of it at a shower or rehearsal dinner, I’d just be gracious and roll with it.

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