MIL shower invitation start time is wrong.

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsSweetT:  Or you could have your mother advise guests to arrive earlier. that is what I would do.  

Even if some arrive at 11, and some arrive at 1130, I don’t think it would be a big deal.  Few people arrive on the dot for events anyway. Some of your family would likely start arriving by 1115, some of his family would also start arriving at 1115.

If you are concerned about them eating, either don’t put the food out until 1120, or keep trays covered.

Post # 4
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Your MIL is a real bitch, if she didnt apologize.  At least now you know, dont let her control anthing.  Talk to your mom, see if she can revise her invites. Otherwise FMIL friends will take the best seats, make messes, take all food.

 

Post # 5
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MrsSweetT:  Really, just over 30 minutes? You will have late guests from her family and early guests from yours, its so not a big deal. I told people 5 for our engagement party, people were there from 5 and still arriving at 5.45 and a few at 6. Its not a big deal, and no one will probably notice. If I were her I would be upset that you felt the need to delegate me to telling people, why can’t you tell your family to get there earlier?

 

@SeaSalt:  +1 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I personally don’t see it as that big of a deal… 

I would just try to tell some of your family members to be there a little early! Spread the word. All will be fine, in years I tihnk you might even laugh about it. But 30 minutes really isn’t long when you’re trying to have everything ready and be a hostess. 🙂 It’ll all work out, you’ll see! 

Post # 7
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper

Most people will come early anyway, especially if they need time to load and unload gifts. I woudn’t worry about it for a minute, especially since the time is so close. Not a big deal. No one will eat anything or make a mess unless they’re asked if they want anything.

Who is setting the whole thing up and will be there first? They can certainly handle greeting early guests, can’t they?

Post # 8
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@juanita.kelly.9:  That’s a little harsh, and jumping to conclusions about how her in laws will conduct themselves, don’t you think?

It was a small, and rather insignificant mistake. She no doubt is embarassed about it.  But to label her a “bitch”?

There is an old saying “When you judge someone, you say nothing about them, and plenty about yourself”….

Post # 9
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@SeaSalt:  Exactly what I was thinking when I saw that comment, utterly rude and very harsh.

 

@juanita.kelly.9:  Why do you assume not only that FMIL did not apologise, and that she is a bitch, but also that anyone arriving early is automatically a discourteous pig who will make a mess and eat all the food? Terribly rude.

Post # 11
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsSweetT:  I’ve yet to attend a party where there wasn’t a shit ton of food left over. My mother hosted an at-home reception for us a week ago, and we ate sandwiches and veggies and dip for the next 2 days, until we left.

I am an event coordinator, and  there is oodles of food left over after every event we host.

Seriously, this is a pretty small deal.  Your mother, and your MIL will take their cues from you.  If you make a big fuss, they will too. If you tell both of them “No sweat, it will all work out. People never arrive exactly on time anyway, and we’re going to have a fun day. Yay!”, then they will relax about it.  For the first half hour or so, people are going to be more interested in meeting and catching up with each other anyhow.  Have you ever attended a party where the first thing someone did when they entered was go directly to the food table?

It would be incredibly rude to have food there, and “stop” someone from eating it.  Just trust that no one is there just to eat, and treat them like the adults that they are.

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