Post # 1
So my mom and my future mother in law hooked me and my fiancé up. She has always loved me and I’ve never had to suck up or anything! Well I hooked his younger brother up with my friend. My friend has become very fake in the process but always sucks up to his family. My fiances dad has already told me he can’t stand her, but his mom has been on a kick ever since my friend has come into the picture. She keeps asking him if he is happy and how he feels about wedding stuff. He told her he was happy multiple times and that if he wasn’t ready he wouldn’t have asked me. Anytime I try to get his mom involved because my mom livea 18 hours away she just won’t respond she acts like she has no interest in our wedding. I haven’t done anything wrong! I’m always very respextil and keep them in the loop. His dad and I have become a lot closer since this. But now I asked her for addresses and she add 16 out of state ppl we barely know ppl her son has met once in his life. Originally we had agreed we would send them wedding announcements. She also added work people and his twins girlfriends mom to the guest list. With how tempermental she has been lately I am so nervous to say anything…idk what to do from here…
Post # 3
@JKS090614: Sorry to hear about your MIL troubles, they are the worst! You can’t talk to this person like you talk to your own Mom, and you don’t want to offend or say the wrong thing I feel your pain!
Have you talked to your FI about it? Maybe you can ask him to talk to her to gage her excitement of the wedding? Or adding all the extra guests? Another thing-is this her only son? Or maybe the first son getting married? I’ve totally seen that become a problem.
Post # 4
My FI said he is gonna talk to her about how she treats me and about the wedding excitement, but the guest list not so much. It is her first son getting married but he has a twin a younger brother and a sister…she was super excited when we got engaged and now it’s like pulling teeth to get her to be a part of it. Not to mention my parents are the ones paying for the reception
Post # 5
It might be that your MIL is suddenly realizing the gravity that her son has grown up and is moving on. Maybe that’s difficult for her and she’s being emotionally distant because of it. It could also be that she’s just not the kind of lady that’s interested in wedding planning–my own mother is definitely not that kind of woman and I’m sure she wouldn’t be into having wedding conversations with her own daughter, let alone a FDIL.
I’d keep inviting her and giving her opportunity to be involved in the process, but in a lighthearted, non-pushy way. She’ll come around; she probably just needs time.
Post # 6
I would take her to lunch & talk to her. She cN only act one of two ways then you’ll know for sure where she stands. Let her know that there’s a maximum on folks you’ll invite & let her pick. No stress, but you’ll have to deal with her forever so be sweet but firm.