Post # 1
Hey girls! I just wanted to get a few more opinions on this…
So I had my future MIL do the calligraphy for the invitations (I work full time and wanted her to feel included). She did a great job and sent out all of the invitations last Thursday.
Yesterday, she wrote up an invitation for her sister’s husband’s parents and sent it without telling me. These people were not on the guest list, and I don’t really know them. Now, my parents are paying for the whole wedding, so I feel like this is pretty rude to both them and me.
What do you girls think? I’d like to just talk to her about it, but don’t know how I should go about it. Thoughts?
Post # 3
Sounds like something my sneaky MIL would do. Have your fiance deal with it. And possibly be prepared for an argument.
Post # 4
Definitely have your FI talk with your FMIL about it. You asked her to do calligraphy using the list of guests you provided, not add guests as she sees fit. Make sure she understands that what she did was rude and it will end up costing your parents more money when they are already being generous enough to finance the wedding.
on a side note….I agree with FutureMrs.Taylor that it will probably end up in an argument
Post # 5
That was incredibly rude and your FI should definitely say something to her.
Post # 6
i have to agree with both of the above posters- have your FI talk to her about this, explain how rude it was to add guests withotu consulting you, and explain that this is an added financial burden on your parents. If they agreed to such-and-such a number of people, but now theres more added, last minute, to that number, who is she to say they can afford to feed those people?! This will probably end in an argument and hurt feelings all around, but hopefully she’s mature enough to get over herself and realize she made a mistake. Maybe she can pay for the cost of their food if they do decide to come?
Post # 7
Give her the benefit of the doubt for now. That is an insanely ballsy thing to do without consulting you or her son first. Maybe she mentioned it to him and he said it wasn’t a big deal and he forgot to mention it to you? That happens quite a bit in our families. It just slips our minds. Sisters’ husband’s parents are pretty out there if you ask me. But maybe she didn’t do it to be sneaky and rude…? Hopefully there’s a good reason and she’s just like “omg i’m so sorry, i got put in this awkward spot and i blurted it out! i meant to say something to you and i forgot!” etc etc. I dunno, i don’t know her.
Post # 8
I think it’s also important to try to determine whether those are the ONLY unexpected guests she is inviting, or whether she plans to send invites to more. At least try to work with your FI to make sure that this doesn’t get too out of control. Good luck!
P.S. You’re not crazy.
Post # 9
Yikes!! I would be pissed! Let your FI handle it…and definately double-check to make sure that’s the ONLY “extras”! Good luck!
Post # 10
Hi Date twin!!! Your the 1st one I have seen!!! Yes I think thats very rude I’d be pretty annoyed if I were you. Do you think they will come or are they pretty elderly and it was just a curtosy thing? Either way she should have fun it by you!
Post # 11
That would make me so mad. I personally wouldn’t be above, making her call them and uninvite them because she made a mistake or have her pay for their dinners. But yeah, have FI do the talking.
Let us know how it goes.
Post # 12
I would be furious!! Do you think they are going to come? Part of me possibly would want to find that out first before anything bc if they don’t then I would not want added drama (even though the other part of me would want to tear into her) – seeing as you’re stuck with her as a MIL
But I would have your Fi talk to her as others stated
Post # 13
Thanks, girls! That helps.
She just emailed me to “ask” me, saying that the invites that she added haven’t gone out (they have).
Oh well. We’ll see…