MIL wanting to be referred to as "Ma" by grandchildren?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
  • poll: MIL wanting to be referred to as "Ma" by grandchildren?
    Weird. : (130 votes)
    35 %
    I'd be ok with it. : (35 votes)
    9 %
    I would not be ok with it. : (157 votes)
    42 %
    Whatever she wants, it doesn't really matter. : (52 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @nickels:  Nope. Ma, mama, mom, momma, mommy, etc… is all MINE.  She can be grandma, grammy, Gee, grandmother, G-ma, granny, etc….  If the issue is that she doesn’t want to feel old she can just go by her first name.

    Post # 4
    Member
    866 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @nickels:  I thinkit is strange that she wants to be called the same thing by her granchildren that her children already call her.  I would tell he rto pick something more appropriate or I will pick one for her.

    Post # 5
    Member
    931 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour

    Nope. I would not allow that. G-ma is close, she doesnt get to be mother to your kids. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3596 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    If you have an issue with it go address it to her. I don’t see the big deal, another thing to consider is that kids will come up with thier own ideas and thoughts about what to call her, so it might be out of both your controls.

    Post # 7
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @nickels:  She is not their ma. You are. She can want them to call her that all she wants but unless she gave birth to them, she doesn’t get that title. It’s funny how she mentioned that her own kids call her that…and now your kids have to as well? Nope, not happening.

    You are totally within your rights to insist she is called a “grandma” equivalent.

    Post # 8
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    My POV is such that when it is YOUR NAME you get to decide who you want to use it and how.

    So Gramma here can do whatever she wishes IMO

    But I do see the issue in so much as I understand that in the US, you all call your Mothers… Momma or Ma for short

    Here “Mom or Mum” is the norm.

    As I see it you still have options.

    Our kids used a bunch of variations for the GrandParents…

    Gramma, Grams, Nan, Nanny… and sometimes they’d use one of those and add a regular name along side

    So for example Gramma LastName or Nanny FirstName

    It all worked out for everyone

    In all truthfulness, the GrandParent has a mind of their own, and gonna make a choice, but so is the child… it happens.  Kids will find their own way / favourite thru this.

    Hope this helps,

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    11740 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s really weird and I would absolutely not be okay with it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee

    DO NOT put up with that.  Don’t give your MIL any early inches on this stuff.  Tell her they will call her “Gma.”  She’s trying to lay an inappropriate claim to a child that isn’t even born yet.  Let her know that they will call you “ma” because you birthed them, and that it’s offensive for her to try to snatch your title.

    Post # 11
    Member
    498 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I dont find it appriopriate, especially since I call my mom ‘Ma’.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Maybe GRANDMA or even Na, but not Ma. That’s a mom name!

    The mister needs to talk with his mom – just because he calls her Ma, doesn’t mean his children should, too!

    Post # 13
    Member
    852 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Nope, odd. I wouldnt like it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3756 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    My sister’s husband’s grandmother is called “Ma”. It wasn’t an issue for her because it’s his grandmother, their childrens’ great-grandmother. The name was already established a long time ago. I don’t see an issue with it. I agree with PP when she said that if you’re the one being called a name, you get to pick it. My children will have a Grammie (My Mom) and a Mimi (my MIL). My grandmother is called Mia because my cousins couldn’t say gramma when they were little and she liked it. They grew up to call her Gramma, but when the great grandchildren started coming along she decided to stick with Mia and my grampa is Gramps. Mia and Gramps lol. My great grandparents were GG (Great-Grandmother) and Bumpa. I love different names for grandparents/great-grandparents. I actually look forward to the day when I can pick my own name as a grandmother or great-grandmother. I don’t have much choice in the Mom, Mommy, Mumma area! Although I do really look forward to that as well 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    1472 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Nope. I think you do have a say in what your kids call their grandparents. And honestly, even if you did call your MIL “Ma” around your kids, I doubt your children would do it growing up because they would think it’s weird (when they got old enough). 

    I think it’s worth discussing with her, but if you don’t want to, just pick a different name and call her that–what will she do about it? 

    We call my parents Papa and Grandma and my DH’s parents Baba (it’s the shortened Japanese form, DH’s mom is Japanese) and Grandpa. We also have my grandma (Nana), DH’s mom’s mom (Obachan–Japanese), and DH’s dad’s parents (Great Grandma and Great Grandpa.) There are TONS of great options, but just tell her Ma ain’t one of them 😉

    Post # 16
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @nickels: I wouldn’t be okay with it at all. Is there a cultural reason for it? If not, then no way.  My FIL actually vetoed what my MIL wants to be called lol. It was some Italian word for grandma and he said no way that sounds ridiculous haha.

    How about if she is G-Ma instead?  I think your husband should be the one to bring it up though.

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