MIL wants to come along for our photoshoot!

posted 3 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 2
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No that’s not really the done thing. Can’t you sweeten the blow by reassuring her there will be lots of family pics she can pose for? She sounds a bit weird 

edit: sorry I may have misunderstood this, she just wants to hang around while you have your pictures taken?!

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  londonchick.
Post # 3
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Moissy:  if you’re afraid she’ll be upset if you tell her no, can’t you tell your photog in advance and he/she can then be the “butch”, telling her sorry he does not allow people at the couple shoots as this in his experience limits the couples or sth. 

And you can think of a “super important” chore beforehand that you’d actually really need a hand witH. 

Post # 4
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

No. No. No….just NO!

Post # 6
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

sounds good and he should say it by himself because she’s his mom. He should tell her it’s like your first dance- only for you two even though there can be separate mother/son pictures at different family pic times just like there can be a separate mother/son dance. But the three of you don’t do first dance together and when you do your first dance, she shouldn’t be the lone one on the dance floor, dancing next to you two. Her feelings will be hurt no matter how he says it, but she’ll have to realize it’s not all three of your wedding at some point, it’s yours and your FI’s and everyone else are special guests only. 

Post # 7
3653 posts
Sugar bee

No way! Too distracting. And if she’s difficult, at times, she could be voicing her opinions the whole photo shoot. What’s next, your wedding night?

Post # 8
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Er, well that depends on whether you really like the idea of your mother-in-law watching you kiss, hold and caress each other in front of a camera for two hours. Personally I would nope the hell out of that situation. You want to be relaxed and happy in front of the camera, not getting embarrassed about PDAs in front of mother. Reassure her she’ll get her pics some other time and this is not a time she wants to be hanging around. It would likely be quite boring and uncomfortable for her anyway.

Post # 9
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Is it really going to take hours?


Post # 10
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Moissy:  You just have to lay down the law to her. Just tell her that these few hours for your pics (which I am with HannahGrace: is it really going to take a few hours for just pics of you and your DH?) are YOUR time together and that she will have the opportunity later on to get some pictures with her son.

I was in a similar situation. First, my MIL made a big stink about not BEING the photog because she does it as a hobby. We finally told her it’s a done deal. Then she was upset about not having enough time to take pic, and we just had to flat out tell her that we are paying someone a lot of money to get pictures. We will make sure there is time for her near the end, but in the meantime she needs to let the photographer do her job. MIl was very good the day of, and she got almost an hour to do whatever she wanted.

Post # 11
4649 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Moissy:  No, she can’t come along for your pictures. What order are you having them done in? I worked for a photographer so I’m just curious. Standard is:

1st location with bride, bridesmaids, her family

2nd location with groom, groomsmen, his family

3rd ceremony

4th after wedding shots with big groups, entire bridal party, extended family

5th everyone goes off to the reception while bride and groom get their own shots taken (NO MIL) But that also doesn’t take 2 hours. You’d have grumpy guests if that was the case.

Post # 12
2358 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I had to inform some folks who wanted to hang around during photos that the photographer didnt want an audience as she was working. That worked.

Post # 14
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Moissy:  You and I have something in common…… a FMIL that doesn’t understand the concept of privacy.

We’ve already told the MIL that she will not be present during our photos after the ceremony. The only people that will be present are the bridal party and us. I already get camera shy enough as it is, the last thing I need is an audience watching me take photos. 

I think your FI should sit her down and break the news to her, when the time is right of course. I think if you guys explain things to her and reassure her she will still be able to take pictures with him, she will take it well. 

Good luck!!!

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