Mil wants to wear an all white outfit!??

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Moneyfoot:  Yea that’s inappropriate.. everyone knows you don’t wear white to a wedding (unless it’s specifically white themed!).. the mother of the groom should definitely know it too!

You did the right thing by hinting to her that she shouldn’t wear it. Everything is probably feeling totally overwhelming right now because you’re getting so close, try not to dwell on it, put it down to a silly faux pas on her behalf and focus on the things that make you happy (for your own sake!)

Do you have a maid of honour/bridesmaid/friend who can step in and deal with last minute issues for you to give you a bit of breathing space? I know i’ll probably feel the same way in the lead up to our day because i’m super controlling and like to do everything myself lol but I know i’ll need to let that go and let people help me!

Post # 3
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Moneyfoot:  What did she say in response? Hopefully she is just really clueless… but I’d say she is just not very considerate. I think that’s an awful thing to do at a wedding, and honestly, it can only backfire. People would probably end up talking about her negatively at the wedding!

Maybe you need to have a little break from wedding planning? Before you do turn green and start smashing stuff? Sometimes I’m so glad FI and I are eloping. 

Post # 4
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Wearing white to someone else’s wedding isn’t particularly cool, and it was reasonable of you to politely suggest that she consider another colour. But I would recommend letting it stop there. What you described doesn’t really sound like a wedding dress and besides, everyone should know who the bride is. At worst, if anyone makes any comments, it’ll be your FMIL who looks bad, not you. 

Post # 5
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Miss_E_xx:  I think your response was perfect. You’ve politely advised against it. That’s all you can do – being any more forceful will just cause tension. Anyway, if she persists and wears white now, it will only reflect badly on her.

May I strongly advise that, if you wish to ask again, get your fiance to do it. It was ok to say it once (because it came up), but if you wish to press the point, it’s far better coming from her son.

Post # 6
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - saint patricks parish

Moneyfoot: if it were me my mother in law would be running, because my mother in law knows I’ll go bridezilla If she pulled that. My best advice is to breathe and tell her calmly how you feel.

Post # 7
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Good job sticking up for yourself!  I hope she listens to you and changes her outfit.  Like others said if she doesn’t, then she is going to be the one who gets talked about and its all on her.

Post # 8
20 posts

My advice to you is be clear and precise in telling her NOT to wear that outfit! I had this exact same thing happen to me, my MIL showed me several options and I tried to gently steer her away from the ivory. When the time came, guess which skirt suit she wore? Then proceeded to spend the whole day bailing up my guests asking if they thought our outfits were the same color! WTF!?! According to her, they were one or two shades different. It still bugs me.

It’s not appropriate, especially for the mother of the groom, and if you don’t say something you’ll regret it.

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