- 3 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
We just announced our pregnancy to everyone on Friday. Parents knew a long time ago, but had to hold a secret until we were ready. This is probably just a hormonal prengant woman rant.
I get along with my MIL, but I also get upset with her because she is VERY overbearing at times (ie: one time she said how much she missed DH (who is 28) after not seeing him for only two weeks, and she proceeded to wrap herself around him and even at one point grab his hand while they were walking while his wife aka ME was walking behind, feeling real awkward). She has gotten better, but that is because I’m not afraid to tell her to back off in a nice way. I can give you many more examples if you’re not convinced.
With baby, I am having a harder time telling her to back off, and I didn’t think it would be a problem since I feel so much more guarded and protective.
This is the first grandchild. MIL and her mom (the new great grammy) were at a Norweigan festival this weekend. I am from ND. No, I am not Norweigan and no I do not talk like the a-holes from the movie Fargo. MIL and GMIL are NOT Norweigan either, but proceeded to pick up some horribly stupid shirts.
Now, when MIL called, DH was like, “Mom, you don’t even know the gender. Don’t buy stuff so soon.” I know you can’t tell other people what to do with their money, so that is why I didn’t say anything (she has also bought several outfits for baby’s first x-mas already). She then proceeded to complain that we were going OOT this weekend when DH’s grandparents are coming and want to see “their grandson who’s going to be a daddy!” DH told her he was sorry, but we were leaving, and she just sat on the phone and sulked for 10 minutes about how she hardly ever sees us and neither do they. They live 3 1/2 hours away, and we just saw them a few weeks ago. We just saw MIL two weeks ago! I sat there and bitched to myself about my irritating MIL.
I would tell MIL to keep the clothes at her house for when the baby comes for overnight stays, but we don’t plan on allowing overnight stays…and she doesn’t know this yet, and I have no idea how we will tell her when it comes time. MIL is a hoarder. She doesn’t have her stuff piled out in the living room anymore, but her kitchen is filled with dishes that have been left for two weeks (and stuck on food on the counter, table, and stove). It takes her about 2 hours to do dishes because of the sheer volume and scum on them. They have beautiful hardwood floors. One time I went over there and noticed cat puke (several piles in the same place) behind the chair on this beautiful hardwood floor. It was disgusting and had been sitting there for quite some time. DH said, “Eww mom. How long has that been there?” She said, “I don’t know. Maybe a month or so. When I clean I will get it.” When does she clean? When FIL gets to the point where he sleeps in the garage, and it takes her all day to clean one room because she is very particular.
I don’t want my baby crawling through month old cat puke with daschund and cat hair sticking in it. I don’t want it to lay in crap spilled on the floor that hasn’t been cleaned up in weeks. Maybe DH and SIL made it through ok, but I just can’t. The bathroom is never cleaned, the room she wants to deam the “baby room” is covered in dust, dirt, boxes piled up, and smells musty. She also wants to use a crib that was SIL’s which is highly illegal and unsafe since the slats are huge in comparison to what they make now. That will NOT be happening under any circumstances.
So, MIL has already patted my belly twice, which irks me. She has been buying clothes, complaining she never sees us, and has proclaimed her excitement for babysitting, all within the last 7 weeks or so.
Guys, I don’t know if I need to calm down about the babysitting overnight thing until baby comes or make my intentions for baby clear before he/she gets here and I’m too stressed to argue with her. We do NOT under any circumstances want to keep the baby away from MIL. Baby will get to go visit with us there where we can ensure it is in a clean environement, but overnight stays will not be something we do. She is seriously stressing me out with her more frequent calling and texting and overbearing nature. My mother isn’t acting this way, so I am not sure how to deal.
I’m just tired and overwhelmed, and I just want her to leave us alone for longer than a few days without having to hear her complain about the lack of seeing us or talking about baby everything. Sorry for the rant. I’m all over the place because I’m just crabby about this right now. Thanks for letting me vent.