MIL woes/rant – others please share too

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Is she overstepping boundaries?
    Yes : (9 votes)
    100 %
    No : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    1131 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Wow, whoa. I know we only get one side of the story here, but if yours is even 50% unbiased observation she’s still overstepping. What’s doubly disturbing is that your FI doesn’t see any problem. How does he have time for 5-6 phone calls a day from his mom about nothing? And are you REALLY visiting her every weekend?

    I think you should let the catty comments and little possessive acts slide though. Let’s face it, he’s a grown man and his days of constantly being under mom’s care are over. Now you are the one he is going to be spending the majority of his time with, and it seems that makes his mom jealous. But unless he starts spending every day with his mom, you will always have the greater portion of his attention and time from now on, whatever little BS powerplays his mom pulls at Chile’s. Which is why I think you should just let those comments go when she makes them – she would see it as a victory if you got visibly upset or jealous. Though… in your Chile’s example, sweetly saying something like, “You’re right Mrs. Soandso, I spend sooo much time with FI and poor you only gets to see him some weekends! So you guys should def share the 2 for $20 deal!” would satisfyingly catch her with her own hook – but it would probably be nicer to just smile beneficently and not say anything.

    But having to visit her every weekend is def. way overkill and something you should talk to your FI about. Try to be calm and rational and give him some reasons why driving out to see her every weekend is not making you comfortable – you want more time to relax just with him, you only go to see your parents once a month and it feels unfair, it is just plain too often for your comfort. See if you can get him to agree to visiting her once every two weeks.

    If he won’t even consider it, I’d reconsider the marriage… unless his mom is unusually old or sickly. Just sayin’.

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