Post # 1
So to explain a little bit – Fi is catholic born and raised. we’ve been together for 6 1/2 years now and have an almost 3 yr old son. We have been discussing getting married for a long time, but with large families and alot of people out of town our cheapest options would still be 5-10K in the end.
We came to the realization yesterday that if we begin saving now, we still wont be able to afford that for about 2years. At that point we will have been engaged for 5 years and our son will be entering grade school. Fi and I both agreed that we dont want to wait that long, so he shocked me and suggested we elope. turns out he has been doing some research and we can ask for a convalidation later on which would make our marriage legit in the eyes of the church. I am all for this but am just curious has anyone done this? or heard of it?
The theorectical gameplan right now is that we would have one of our friends who has one of those online ordination dealies marry us on our anniversary in Oct (it happens to be a sat!). There is a state park about 45 mins from us that is proably our favorite place on earth, so we would go with our immediate family and 3 best friends and exchange short vows down there. Like 10 mins tops. We would then like to come back and have a very casual BBQ with friends and family to celebrate. So now instead of $5K it would be more like $500.
The other thought we are having is would it be crazy to not tell anyone ahead of time and just be like SURPRISE! at the BBQ? i mean we would have to let my out of town family know, but besides that we could just announce it then and celebrate. If someone you knew did that would you be pissed?
Sorry i know i probably sound like a mad-woman but this just created so many other oppurtunities for us now. we could actually be married without me feeling guilty for eviscerating our wallets!
Post # 2
I think this is a wonderful idea! My SO and I actually just agreed that we will be doing something similar and I already feel so much relief. We are going to elope at City Hall or in a park with immediate family only (15 people total) and then go for a beautiful dinner to celebrate. Then a little ways down the road we are going to hold a reception of some kind with food, booze and dancing to celebrate with all of our friends (we have a big group) who didnt get to be there.
Its basically the best of both worlds for us. We still get to have our family there for our special day but we arent stuck with the 10K + bill and I am not running around stressing dealing with planning a huge day.
Congrats and good luck!
Post # 3
Yes, you can absolutely do this. Once you are legally married, go to your priest with your paperwork and he will be able to arrange a convalidation. Bear in mind that the church will not consider you to be married until you have the convalidation… they will consider you to be engaged still. You may also have to attend pre-marital counselling before your convalidation.
A convalidation can be anything from a quick ceremony as part of the regular Sunday service, to a service which is fairly similar to a wedding service. Your priest will advise you accordingly.
Post # 4
Would a convalidation wedding with just parents or just parents + immediate family followed by a brunch at someone’s home not be good enough? I think if you put it that way (even if we saveid for 2 years we wouldn’t even come close to having enough $ for a full guested wedding!) people would take things into perspective and realize no one should do that.
Post # 5
Why not just get married in the Church with your closest friends and family and host the BBQ or a punch and cake reception after?