Post # 1
Hey bees –
I just needed to get something off of my chest. When I initially picked my wedding date it was because I wanted it in October, but I wanted it early enough that the weather wouldn’t suck. And being in Wisconsin, I figured the earlier, the better.
I didn’t realize that my wedding day was my uncles birthday. We arent super close and never have been and lately there are been loads of family drama revolving around him (but i dont feel like getting into that). Well turns out its his 50th birthday. My aunt wants to do something for him at my wedding. She suggested doing something at his seat at the reception. I said go ahead….. as long as it isnt 50 balloons or something that will totally distract from all the hard work im putting into decorations. No big deal.
Well last night my uncle asked if he could invite some of his friends to the reception. I said no, space is going to be exremly tight and frankly I dont feel like paying for complete strangers’ drinks. They arent people i know, so why should they take up space. If he left early to go out with his friends, I wouldnt mind at all… I dunno. My mom says that I should let him invite people to the dance portion.
Maybe once is gets closer and I feel there is room to play with, I should allow him to invite people? What are your thoughts on this fellow bees?
Im sure tomorrow I will be over it. Just something that is under my skin right now and I needed to vent about it. (I’ve also been having a terrible day at work, so that doesnt help with the added stress, maybe im just over reacting because I’m having such a crap day to begin with)
Post # 4
Hmm, personally, I wouldn’t be cool with that. It would be weird to have complete strangers at such an important event in your life. But if you don’t think you would care on the day of then just let him invite them. I think it just depends on which would be less stressful for you on your big day.
Post # 5
its awesome that its his birthday and all, but I would not be okay with that. He can have his party another day or not come. Yes its his birthday, but its YOUR wedding! lots of people celebrate their birthday not on the exact day!
Post # 6
Cant’ he celebrate his birthday the day before or the day after? I think it’s a bit odd for him to invite people you don’t know to your wedding because it’s his birthday.
Post # 7
@birdee106 Im not really ok with him inviting his friends and having his party at my wedding. I just dont want to fight with everyone in my family thinking Im a bridezilla because I wont let him do it.
I guess I’m not sure what to do….
Post # 8
Well, you have one wedding. He has had 50 birthdays and he willl have another one next year. I think that your wedding is your wedding and not his birthday party. As long as you arent freaking out about him staying for the whole thing, I see no reason he and his wife/family can’t stay for the important parts of the wedding then go have his birthday how they wish.
Post # 9
Absolutely not. Your uncle can celebrate with his friends elsewhere.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t invite the friends. What I would do is buy him a bottle of something to enjoy with his friends after the reception when he sees them so you don’t get the bridezilla label. I also think it’s really nice that you gave the okay to have a little thing for him at the reception.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t be okay with that either. I want my close friends and family to help me celebrate. Not random people at my wedding celebrating something else. Its like sharing your reception venue with another party… but you’re getting stuck with the whole bill.
Post # 12
@LaCroix: I’m sorry but that is ridiculous. This is YOUR day. YOURS. How many times I have had to have my birthday party on a different day because of school/work etc. I would never expect anyone to make any special note of me on their wedding day and I LOVE my birthdays. I say LaCroix is right, a bottle of champagne or something at the reception, but anything other than that (even 1 balloon on the chair) is unnecessary.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t be okay with it either. There’s no reason he can’t celebrate a day or two before or after with his friends. Maybe your band/dj can just make a mention of his birthday and dedicate a special song you think he likes in honor of it, but that should be it.
Post # 14
it’s your wedding not his birthday party.
i wouldn’t like strangers at my wedding. how rude to even ask. personally, i’d rather him not come to my wedding if his birthday is so important to him that he wants to be with his friends. can’t he have his birthday party the night before?? he’s acting like he’s turning 5 not 50.
Post # 15
I would say to maybe have the DJ acknowledge his birthday at some point during the reception, or if you are going to make a small speech to wish him a happy birthday in it. Since you’re not particuarly close to him, I would imagine that would be good.
Definitely would not be okay with inviting people you don’t know…in total agreement with the other bees that it is is your wedding, not his birthday party! And on that end, i would definitely want to know specifics as to what your aunt is planning to do at his seat.
It’s your wedding. It is about you and your FI. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about it!
Post # 16
Yeah… no. It’s not a wedding-birthday combo or anything like that. If you were very close with your uncle I would say, why not, but you said you’re not close and his friends are strangers to you. So.. no.