Weddingbee boards

So. Let me start by saying that i lOVE this site! I think it really helps with the stress and gives  you amazing ideas!! :)

Budget.

It has pretty much come down to the fact from both sides (mine and FI) that this is MY wedding so I should be paying for it. My grandparents have given me a little to contribute and my mother bought my dress ($800). Honestly I dont want anyone to spend tens of thousands of dollars anyway. Im not an over the top person. pretty down to earth. However - this is where the mini rant comes on. I have come to the conclusion that the wedding will cost around 14,000.00 Probably less, but I would rather have the little bit extra, just in case. SO... From my grandparents i have 4000 and so far in our year and a half engagement, i have saved 8,000.00! My fiance said that his family would help 'A LITTLE' (which is great and much appreciated!) So I told the FI yesterday that i was budgeting and that if I could get 2,000 I would be beyond happy and much easier knowing that everything would be fine. Plus ill still be saving, so ill DEFFINATELY be fine. I just dont want to freak out when I dont have enough ya know.... So, I told him that yesterday. and he says/// "ohh babe, thats nothing, you can save that easy!!" Then, he went out with friends. I mean.... really. I even said, "if your family could help with 2 grand, i would be sooo happy and yadda yadda"

But it just kinda erked me that he still isnt thnking that his family has to help at all. Which its not like its ONLY my family coming to the wedding, its half his too. I dunno. I just needed to get it off my chest.

Am I silly for getting a little irritated by this?? Im sure if I bring it up again, and I am able to explain, in a manner that a MAN would understand, that i want him to give me 2 grand, then he will ask or what not. But, I dunno... Just MEN. lol

Thanks for listening bees!!! :)

No no, i wasnt expecting him to go right then and ask. I am irritated bc he wants ALOT to be HIS way... and he (my FI) isnt dropping a dime. And I want him to have what he wants bc its his day too. BUT - I would like a little help. I dont want to pay for an entire wedding and not have it be exactly what I want.

That is true. I just wanted to have some piece of mind though... ya know. I have been stressing so bad about saving I have panic attacks now and its just bad. My hair is falling out and I am breaking out like no other. I just wanted to breath for a second. lol. But i guess since we are joining together later its not so different.

If you still have money to save you should be equally saving. We were very fortunate, my parents and my FI parents gave us each $5000. Our wedding is looking to be around $19,000 when all said and done. I have money saved up previously that I was able to put towards the wedding. We decided from day one of planning that we would save the same amount. I get to put less in the "wedding account" each week because of my previous amount contributed. You shouldn't have to carry the entire burden. Remember marriage is about compromize.

I agree with the compromize! See the other thing he does.... I NEVER go out anymore, (since we have been engaged and saving) with my friends, and I very rearely shop and what not. HE on the other hand, goes out a decent amount with his friends, he buys crap all the time.  He does buy the food and rent and what not. But sometimes, I would just like to not be freaking out.  OH btw.. I have 3 jobs.. yes, 3! and 1 MAYBE 2 days off a MONTH! So i barely see him anyway... thats why he "goes out all the time".

It's perfectly fine to be annoyed but just remember that it is just a big party. You have to live with your FI and in-laws forever. Work out your emotions now and then get back on track and start planning with what you DO have! Then you can start to have some fun instead of stressing. 

my parents have offered up around £2000 between them (divorced) and fi parents have offered to buy the wedding cake. she's managed to find a cake for around £80. 

i budgeted for my wedding with no help what so ever with these additions i can do a little more, or just spend less. i wouldn't dream of ever asking any of our parents for there help and if they don't produce the money the oh well... i'll deal with it. 

i don't understand the your money my money thing in marraige or even a serious relationship for that matter but thats just me. 

i honestly believe if you cant reach the $14000 without their help, then your budget should only be $12000 and treat any offering as a bonus not a given 

and the first thing i would be doing is asking fi how he intends to contribute and not his parents 

dcdt212 - thats why im trying to not pester him and or either of our families... that lasts forever. So i dont want to sound greedy.  Its just irritating. lol

The only reason I say that he should ask is BC from the beginning his family has said "we want to help, we want to help" and to just tell them how much we need. I think that if they are willing to help, then they should. I dont see what the big deal is with that.

I think what irritates me, is he just doesnt show much effort, and thats why I feel like its MY money. Which I know I shouldnt see it that way. But I dunno. lol

Well, im trying to see it in the way that he pays for our day to day life, and thats why im doing it all. However, it is a little difficult. lol. And my whole thing started bc his family said that they would help, and he isnt against asking or anything, and it really isnt that much that he is asking for. BUT, i was just irritated that he said that " i can still save for it" all i want in this is piece of mind. :)

Men have NO idea how stressful a wedding is. Im not even letting him know JUST how freaked out and stressed I am. We do believe in god, and I do believe that everything will be fine. But thats what i do... i stress.

Im sure that it will be alright. I was just irritated with his comment.

Guys can definitely be insensitive about the "wedding" issue! They haven't been imersed in it forever like we have ;) I would nicely tell him what's bothering you so that it doesn't become a bigger issue.