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mini-vent re: inviting people to the wedding

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
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    1.
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    Newbee
    mssb    May 14, 2011  

    We are trying to have a small-ish, intimate wedding.  We've nixed inviting some formerly close friends who we don't see often, as well as distant relatives (sometimes over our parents' objections).  Now a friend of mine just invited her teenage babysitter to the wedding!  She said it will give her and her husband more time to talk instead of watching their three kids ... It came about so awkwardly on the phone that I wasn't sure what to say.  She offered to pay for the babysitter's meal, but that just feels tacky!  Ugh.

    I have always wanted to elope but my FI wanted to have a wedding, although he was totally on board with keeping it small.  Things like this make me wish we really could.  (And I know it's not a huge deal, but it's coming at a stressful time.)

     
    2.
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    Busy bee
    farmgirl2106    July 2010  

    Can you ask her to leave her kids at home since she already has booked the babysitters time? Inviting someone to someone else's wedding is rude, and I'd probably tell her no go. Good luck... I don't understand how people can act so dense sometimes.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    texasmeredith      

    Explain that you'd rather the babysitter stay at home with the children and that you are having a small wedding and you'd don't want people there that you have never met.  That is really rude of her to ask!

     
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    tksjewelry    June 25, 2011   Omaha

    If they really want time to have fun then they should leave the kids at home.  Can you call her and tell her that you don't feel like it is a good idea as you have already cut some friends?

     
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    Honey bee
    Ms. Meowerson    May 12, 2012  

    this is beyond bizarre.  so rude.  and if they need a babysitter, then the kids should be at home with said babysitter

     
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    Busy bee
    lilacwire    October 29, 2011   Denver

    Let her know it's not just about money, but about the intimacy of having a wedding with people you know and love! 

     
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    mssb    May 14, 2011  

    thanks everyone!  I'm not sure what I will do (I'll talk to FI first) . . . I think I'm mostly in shock!

     
    8.
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    Sugar bee
    Entangled    September 17, 2011   Carmel, CA

    Tell her it's a space issue, not a money issue.  You want to have an intimate wedding so you're probably using a room or space that's set up for a smaller # of people.

    I think sometimes people say things without realizing how much they're imposing on you.  Or they're just entitled.  Either way there's nothing wrong with you telling her that someone you've never met isn't invited to your wedding.

     

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