(Closed) Minimum age for ring bearers?

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)

My ring bearer was 5 and didnt want to walk down the aisle.
I think it may be too young, but its a chance to take

My flower girl was 2.5 – def too young

Post # 4
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My little brother just celebrated his 4th birthday yesterday and I think he could handle it. I don’t think its necessarily age, but what kind of child is he? If he’s an outgoing, loves being the center of attention type, then I think it will be okay. But if he’s shy, it probably won’t happen. Ultimately you always run the risk of a tantrum or some random thing with kids.

Post # 5
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

It depends a lot on the kid and their relationship to the couple.  My sister’s ring bearer was 3 yrs and a friend’s son she had a pretty good relationship with.  but he got nervous and clung to his mom (a BM) down the aisle.  Another friend had her niece (<3yrs) as FG.  She kind of struck a pose at the end of the aisle, but otherwise was super excited and did fine.  I’m having my niece, just older than 2 1/2…we’ll see how it goes.  She’ll walk in with my sister if she gets nervous.

I think 4 would be fine, unless he’s easily shy (or stubborn).  I’d say just feel it out closer to the day unless you need to decide now for some reason.  And my BIL’s advice, do not give the actual rings to the RB.  He gave them to his brother b/c he said he wanted someone who can afford to replace them to hold them:)

Post # 6
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

If 4 is too young, then I’m in trouble!

We have 4 ringbearers – yes 4!

Anyways, they range in ages from just under 2 to just over 4 years old… so they are all young.  BUT, they are all our nephews and we want them as a part of our day. Besides, they are CUTE and the worst that will happen is they will get nervous or cry, but it won’t ruin the day… people understand kids will be kids.

Post # 7
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it depends on the child, and you definately should have a back up plan when it comes to young members of the wedding party. Our ring bearer will be almost 4 at our wedding, but at this point he is still going through his "terrible twos" stage, so our plan is to introduce him to the best man the night before (who works a lot with kids) and have the best man be in charge of him. Also, if he is too shy, we may have his father walk with him down the isle… or may have to just nix the ring bearer and just give the rings to the best man.
Hope this helps!

Post # 8
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Kids of almost any age are unpredictable. There’s so many different developmental stages that different kids go through at different times! It also depends what you’re expecting him to be able to do. Walk up the aisle? Stand still beside the grown-ups for half an hour without talking? Not making faces/playing games/eating snacks during the ceremony? Four might be too young. (Then again, you have a young boy, so you know more than me!) I would, however, caution you on having too many expectations if you do decide to include him. He may not want to walk up the aisle. He may not want to, then see everyone else doing it, and run up it! He may cry if he’s separated from his parents. (That’s another thing…you want to make sure that his parents do let him know that this is important but that they don’t drill him for hours on how he can’t make ANY MISTAKES, NONE AT ALL, because he might have a break-down half-way up the aisle.)

I’ve heard that anything under six is too unpredictable — I’ve also heard anything over six is poor etiquette!

Basically, it’s up to you, your expectations, your comfort level, and his and his parents’. =) 

Post # 10
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

That does sound funny! =) You do get some really good moments when you include kids in your wedding. (And of course you can have the horror stories…which some people will find funny, and some will gasp at.)

Post # 11
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My ring bearer is fiances 2 yr. old nephew, and his best man is his brother – the dad of the boy. I am certain he’ll be perfect. I’m not bragging … or delusional haha, but I swear, he is sooo well behaved and very very mature for his age. His parents have him in like … bootcamp mode. Lol. He was their first too.

He’ll be perfect. We’ve already practiced. Plus, his dad is in our wedding, which I think makes a difference and his mom will be sitting near the front so she can be the target … maybe we’ll bribe him with candy or something.

My flower girl is 5. She’s been a flower girl several times, so I’m not worried.

Oooh, p.s. Like fizicsGirl said, we’ll just have them walk together if either are nervous. They do both love each other anyway, lol.

Post # 12
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

Another thing to consider is how does the child do when in front of a large crowd?  That can make even the most ordinarily poised, well-behaved child a bit keyed up, being the attention of a large group of people.  

That being said, I’ve seen kids as young as 2 do fine.  Sometimes it helps if there’s some candy waiting at the end of the walk up the aisle for them  

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