Post # 1
So my favorite cousin, got engaged yesterday. Which is great! But really, they’ve only been together two months. It’s another instance of “already?! but they just met!” Not to mention she is only 24 and this will be her second marriage.
I was the maid of honor in her first wedding, which lasted all of two seconds. And now, since she lives in South Dakota I’ll probably have to go out there for this one. Not to mention that SO and I have been talking about getting married either Spring or Fall of 2013, and she messaged me saying that her wedding date is July 20th, 2013. So while I’m still waiting to be “officially” asked, she’s already planning.
I really am happy for her, but I’m also kind of jealous. To be honest, I’m the one that worked hard, finished school, and got a good job without any help. She’s had everything handed to her. I feel like it should be my turn – we’ve been together longer, share finances, a house, a dog….gah when will it be my turn?
Thanks for listening, just needed to vent.
Post # 3
Don’t be jealous: Your cousin sounds like she makes impulsive, bad, decisions. Furthermore, marriage is not some kind of achievement that can be handed do someone.
You know your SO plans on marrying you & you even have a timeline in mind. The longer you wait, the more certain you can be that you’re making the right decision… a certainty your cousin will never have.
Post # 4
I was in a very similar situation. My fiancé and I had dated 1 year before he moved (from FL) to OK to finish pilot training. After I graduated college he and I discussed me moving to his next base in Kansas. I explained I wanted some sort of promise (engagement) before I made the move, but he wanted to live together prior to making the commitment. We lived together for a year, so a total of 3 years together, before he just recently popped the question. I can’t say I never discussed engagement, or that this southern belle wasn’t eager to say I Do! I will say though, that when it finally happened it was the best experience. The patience, distance, and time paid off. It will all be worth it because you will know its true love and worth the wait!
Post # 5
@MrsRugbee: That’s true, and deep down I know that in reality it will be a long shot for them to work out. They barely know each other. She’s always been impulsive, but this just shocked me! And you’re right, I am certain that my SO is the one, and that’s the most important thing.
@StaceyAnn: Thank you – your words are very encouraging 🙂 It’s just hard because I feel like I’ve been waiting foreverrrrr – but then I realize that her situation is not the norm, and nor should it be. I’ve only been waiting two years, but it feels like an eternity!
Post # 6
Don’t be jealous of a 2nd time bride at age 24….Your time will come. 🙂
Post # 7
If this one doesn’t last… then you’re home free because no-one will probably want to go to her 3rd wedding.
Plan your wedding when it comes, you sound sensible and everyone knows that!
Post # 8
@readynwaiting58: I completely get it! It will all come in due time, and look at it this way: atleast you have a head start on the planning!
Post # 9
Everything in its own time is what I always say 🙂
Post # 10
I would be annoyed!
I think the people that know you both will ultimately recognize and (unfortunatley for her) take your relationship more seriously because of the history you have with your SO and the fact that you are pacing yourselves. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, geesh!
I think you’re just going to have to plan around her. And be sure to put yourself first. Let her know gently that you may not be able to participate as heavily in her second wedding (as you did in her first) because you and SO are making some plans of your own.
PP’s are right…you have NOTHING to be jealous about. Annoyed, maybe, but not jealous 🙂
Post # 11
I feel ya! I know “dont be jealous” is easier said than done. You know what you have is good and you know you have things in line and your “stuff together” more than she does from the sounds of it. Its still hard not to be excited and wishing that it was your time when people around you take it less seriously and jump right into it like nothing. When I got married it was much the same. DH and I were together for years. Started saving for our wedding even before we were tech engaged, got engaged and then a few mos later my brother and his GF who were dating a couple months got engaged and planned there wedding 2 weeks after ours. No doubt I was excited as all get out for them, but its hard when you plan, you wait and take it so seriously and what not. Plus most people in our group of friends were already married with kids and what not and DH and I were like the “last”. Hang in there!
Post # 12
I’d be careful not to judge her. Who knows? This could be the person to make her very happy. However, considering she’s not made the most mature decisions leading up to this… only time will tell if that’s the case.
Forget about her 😉 Seriously. She doesn’t even sound worth the jealousy. Maybe this is her attempt at a pick-me-up after her first marriage ended. Keep it cool and focus on yourself right now.
Post # 13
@MsMamaBear: Lol this made me laugh!
@Reign14: Yes, this is the hard part. I was so involved in her first wedding, but since we will most likely be in the middle of wedding chaos ourselves I will definitely have to step back this time.
@KT_Williams: No doubt I was excited as all get out for them, but its hard when you plan, you wait and take it so seriously and what not. This is exactly it. I hope it works for them, and I truly want them to be happy. But it’s hard not to be resentful when I feel like I’ve been “doing it right” by getting life in order first, and they meet and get engaged right away, like it’s no big deal.
@SimplyChic11: Good advice 🙂 Like I said, I truly hope it works out and they are happy together. She’s a great girl, just very spontaneous, I suppose.
Thanks for the support ladies! When it’s finally time for SO and I to tie the knot, it will be so worth it having waited. I just need to keep reminding myself of that!
Post # 14
They’ve been together two months, so who says they’ll even make it to June 2013? They are basically still dating (despite the engaged status), and most relationships never make it beyond the dating stage.