- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I’ve been stalking the boards for a while and have finally decided to join. I guess I just really need to get this off my chest… 🙁 Sorry for the long post!
We got married in October last year and decided to start TTC at the beginning of this year. I always thought it would take some time to get pregnant, but low and behold, I got pregnant on the second cycle trying. We were so incredibly happy. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be and I had an early miscarriage at 6 weeks. It was incredibly hard, but we got through it and decided not to let it get us down too much. Luckily everything cleared up naturally and we got the go ahead from the doctor to start trying again immediately.
So fast forward to 3 months later. We had just bought a house and moved in. Being busy with renovating etc. we hadn’t really given much thought to TTC. Anyway, I started feeling really strange with extreme cramps in my lower abdomen and strange bleeding about 2 weeks ago. Went to a doctor, who told me it was just a bladder infection and he asked if I couldn’t maybe be pregnant again. So I went home, tested, and voila, pregnant again! I couldn’t believe it!
I just knew something was wrong though and immediately made an appointment with my gynae for the following Monday. That turned out to be the worst day of my life. He couldn’t see anything in my uterus and said that he strongly suspected the pregnancy was ectopic, since my HCG levels were already over 1100. I was rushed to hospital and 3 hours later I was lying on the operating table. After doing a laparoscopy to confirm it was ectopic, they had to remove my left tube, which was on the point of rupturing. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such immense sadness and felt so broken. This was hands down the most painful thing I have experienced in my life so far (physically and emotionally). Looking back on it, it’s all a bit of a blur at the moment. I guess I still can’t believe this is really happening to me.
It’s been a week today and I am already feeling much better, but still get incredibly sad from time to time. My husband has really been so amazing and this whole experience has brought us so much closer together. It has also made me realize how lucky I actually am and that I have some incredible people in my life. Although I’m really scared to start TTC again, I still believe we will be able to start our little family soon and am holding thumbs that we will have our rainbow baby one day.
I guess I never really understood how hard this journey could be. Oh well, here’s hoping that the third time’s the charm.