Miscarriage…D and C

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m really very sorry for your loss. There are no words that can make you feel any better, but my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Please consider reading throught the “rainbow babies” thread. Rainbow babies are babies concieved after a miscarriage. You may find peace and hope from their stories.

While I haven’t had a miscarriage, my mom did. Her first child was a stillborn. She went onto have 3 successful pregnances, and we are all healthy, normal adults now. Additionally, a friend of mine had a miscarriage recently, her MD told her that the cycles after the D & C were considered very fertile and lucky. I hope that is the case with you.

 

Post # 4
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hi, 

I am so sorry you are having to go through this.  Glad to hear you have a good support system around you though.  I had a miscarriage in March, although mine was natural not a D&C and I do not know if it was from chromosomal issues or if my body aborted a healthy fetus due to lack or proper hormones or something else.  I should have been 7w3d but the baby measured 6w5d and although mine did have a heartbeat, I’m told it was near the cutoff of being slower than they like to see (123).  I am not an expert, but I would take the fact that there was no growth after a week in your situation to be a sign of a chromosomal issue.  The good news is that the majority of those are completely random and most women go on to have healthy babies afterwards.  Since you asked for stories of hope, I will try to share mine and hope it helps. 

From what I understand, all women’s bodies handle this differently so there is quite a wide range regarding how long it takes for your period to come back.  I believe it also has to do with how high your hormone levels were to begin with, as they need to drop back down close to 0 before you ovulate again.  In my case, my levels were already pretty low the day after I miscarried.  Since it was my first pregnancy, they had not monitored my levels prior to my bleeding, so I have no idea if they had been dropping off or if they never rose very high to begin with.  I got my period back exactly 5 weeks to the day of my miscarriage.  I had been charting and I continued to chart so i would know that I had in fact ovulated which then told me I would get my period 12 days after that.  It helped me to feel more in control of the situation and kept me from constantly wondering if and when it would show back up.  My doctor had given me the same advice about waiting for a period before trying again so we did.  We tried the very next cycle though, and were blessed to get pregnant immediately.  That cycle, I ovulated early so had I not been charting and monitoring my fertile signs I may have missed my fertile window.  It is quite common for your cycle to be a bit off for a few months after a miscarriage and i expected mine may be delayed but was not expecting it to be early.  So far, everything has been going great with this pregnancy and we have no reason to believe anything is wrong this time.  I just had my 12 week scan on Wednesday and the baby looks great and is measuring on track with a stronger heartbeat.  For reference, it took us 5 months of trying to get pregnant the first time so I feel like I was more fertile after the miscarriage.  I certainly had much more fertile CM than I ever have before and I think that is what helped us this time.     

You also mentioned Rh- and rhogam.  I am Rh- too and was also given the rhogam shot after my miscarriage even though my DH is actually Rh- too so I don’t think I really needed it.  They do it as a precaution though since they don’t want to trust that I know my husband’s blood type which I can completely understand.  This shot doesn’t have any side effects though and is to protect any future children you may have.  Once your blood mixes with a baby’s blood who is Rh+, your body starts to make antibodies against it since the Rh factor is a foreign substance as far as your body is concerned.  It takes awhile to make enough antibodies so you can usually have a child who is Rh+ and not need the rhogam shot until much later on in the pregnancy so if you were to have a future child, you don’t have the antibodies built up or they would attack the new baby’s blood.  Nothing at all to worry about though, it is fairly routine nowadays and good that they checked that for you and were able to get you the rhogam.

Again, I am so sorry you have to go through this but hopefully my story has given you some hope for the future.  Also, having one miscarriage does not really make you any more likely to have a miscarriage the next time around than a woman who has never had one, so I hope that is comforting too.  Hopefully you don’t have to wait long until you can TTC again and I wish you the best of luck with your journey!  

Also wanted to add my mother had a miscarriage for her first pregnancy and then went on to have 2 healthy babies, no complications.  So that’s a success story for sure!

Post # 5
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so sorry for your loss. I haven’t had a miscarriage, but I remember my mom losing twins at 5 months due to RH factor.  Take care of yourself.

Post # 6
Member
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mandyjo12:  I’m very sorry for what you both are going through. I can understand how hard this is. My brother and SIL just went through something very similar.  They found out they were pregnat.  Went to the dr where he confirmed she was pregnat but her levels were very very low.  They took some tests (blood and sono) and gave the bad news that she was most likely going to miscarry.  A few days later she was bleeding and having bad cramping.  She went to the dr and he confirmed that she had miscarried.  The news hit them and the entire family very hard. We tried to support them both as much as we could but as I woman I know she was crying inside.  Losing your first born is not something to take lightly.  Well this story has a good ending because the very next month they found out they were pregnat! The dr told them to wait atleast one cycle but hey everything happens for a reason right? Dr confirmed that her levels are normal and for the past few weeks she’s been feeling the normal pregnancy feelings nauceousness etc.  She has a follow up dr appt tomorrow.  If all goes well they are going to start spreading the good news. I wish you both the best of luck – fate works in mysterious ways.

 

Post # 8
Member
8821 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@mandyjo12:   I am so sorry you are dealing with this.  Every day gets a bit easier.

Back in January I was PG and it turned out to be a blighted ovum. However we didn’t know right away, I had off and on spotting. This went on a month before we found out it was an empty sac. My levels didn’t go down enough and I had a D&C in March. It actually gave me some closure.

They say that you are more fertile the first 2-3 months after a D&C. I think it is true.
I waited 1 cycle and we tried again. Ended up pregnant 1 cycle after that. I’m now almost 14 weeks with a healthy baby.

I wish you all the best!

Post # 9
Member
1996 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mandyjo12:  So sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had to have a d&e with my first miscarriage I ended up getting pregnant right after. Never even had my period. The doctor was really surprised that it happened so fast but like pp said you are most fertile those couple months right after. Went on to have a healthy baby girl (she’s 4 1/2 now). I did have another miscarriage a few years ago which I passed naturally. Now I’m pregnant again almost 17weeks. Everything is going great! Hugs & baby dust!!!

Post # 10
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@mandyjo12:  I am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I lost our December 2012 baby in late May of last year with a D and C on June 6,2012. 

We started NTNP in November 2012 and found out we were pregnant in December 2012. So it took 2 cycles. My OB started me on progesterone supplements right away. I have been so paranoid… But now, at 33.5 weeks, I can say that our baby boy is healthy and kicking away!

 

i would recommend waiting 2-3 cycles, but only you know when you’re ready. Take it easy, too. I barely had any bleeding the 2 days after the D and C, but about day 4 I started to bleed more. . I believe it was from over doing it. Xoxox and if you need to talk, PM me.

Post # 12
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mandyjo12:  I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I miscarried last month. Went to my 11 week appt and ultrasound, had been having some spotting and found that the baby was only measuring at 8 weeks, no heartbeat. I passed the fetus and then had a D&C 5 days later. It’s been 33 days since my D&C, no period yet. Though my cycles were always super wonky, and I had to get pregnant using Clomid.

I also am Rh-, and my husband is Rh+, so I got the shot as well. I’m hoping for the best for both of us!

Post # 14
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mandyjo12:  Thank you! I actually got my period 4 days ago, so that’s something. 🙂 We’ll likely be starting back with the whole TTC process, as long as I find myself emotionally up for it.

Post # 15
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@mandyjo12:  Thank you so much for sharing your story, I went through somthing very similar- here is my story in prayers that it will bring comfort to someone- I want to start with my story, me and my husband just got married 9/14/2013. We wanted to start TTC right away, we got that lovely pregnancy test that read POSITIVE!! we we’re over the moon my obgyn wanted to wait to see us until we were at least 8-10 weeks. Felt like the lonest couple of weeks to wait!!!!! me and hubby we’re so excited to see out lil baby on the sono screen and out biggest nightmare came true. I knew right away that something wasn’t right by the look on the techs face, I kept asking is everything ok is everything ok I don’t see anything. She asked me if I had any bleeding or cramping I told her no not at all. I looked up in the air and cried and cried my husband had to ask the rest of the questions for us. She said I had what is called a blighted ovum, never in my life have I every hear of such a thing or knew such a thing existed. She went onto explain that something went wrong with the pregnancy and showed us what a 8 week sac with yolk should look like. I was so lost, empty and confused. The tech left the room and told us she was sorry. She said we will be meeting with another dr in a little while. I was so upset I couldn’t get dressed, my husband had to get my clothes on, how could this happen I feel pregnant no bleeding or cramping!!! What did I do wrong????? Shortly after my nurse practitioner came in she is wonderful I was supposed to be seeing her today for my exam, she does my yearly’s as well. As soon as I saw her face I cried and cried and all she could say was this happens all the time, I asked what did I do?? She said nothing it just didn’t happen. She told me I was going to meet with another dr and I said why cant I just meet with you. She told me she is not trained in these things nor does d&c. D&C!?? NOOO that’s when everything got foggy from there. Another nurse came in and brought us to another room. We met with another dr who was very dry and right to the point, older man who said he has been doing this for a very long time. He said maybe just maybe if I wait a week we might see something but its very unlikely. He said it could be too early to see anything, but again he said its very unlikely after he looked at my sono pictures and said I had a 7 week looking sac. He gave us our options, ideally he said the best would be I would pass on my own, he could give me medicine to start the miscarriage up or the dreaded d&c. I left the office still upset I knew in my heart this was the end. I thought how are we going to tell our families this?? They were all so supportive and I thank God I didn’t have to go through this alone. I got home and goggled everything under the sun, all false blighted ovum’s and success stories. I cried for 2 days straight., Thanksgiving was a couple days later and me and my husband and our 7 year old daughter traveled to VA to visit his family. The week and a half was grueling for me all I wanted to do was pass it on my own if that’s the way it was going to be. The thought of a D&C scared me to know end. The week and a half was here, again I knew in my heart I would see the same sono picture with nothing. I was right. The nurse apologized and said we would be meeting again with the dry older dr. This time he seemed like a new person, very sweet, he told us he was sorry and had the bad news. He told us it was nothing we did wrong and our chances of TTC were not affected and is sure that we would go on to have a healthy pregnancy. He told me he highly recommended to “empty my uterus” I thought no no not a D&C, he told us the procedure was so easy and 15 minutes at the most. He went on to tell us I could wait to miscarry on my own but there’s no telling when that would be, he also was concerned with infection and bleeding being that the size of my sac has grow, my body was still feeding the pregnancy hormone. He told us if we do miscarry on our own the chances of me not passing everything were high and I would still end up needing the D&C. I cried and cried I wanted this naturally, but I knew my husband needed his wife back and our daughter needed her mommy back 100%. I just wanted it over to move on and start healing emotionally and physically and of course start to try again. We were able to meet with another nurse to schedule my D&C for that Friday at one, I thought how am I going to go through with this. I spent the next two days crying and being scared to know end, the morning came for the day of my surgery and I was a nervous wreck I didn’t want to be put to sleep I didn’t want to be hooked up to an IV. I prayed and prayed to have nice nurses and dr because that makes a world of difference. We got to the hospital at 10:30, we we’re given this little buzzer, kind of like when your at a restaurant and your table is ready 🙂 We didn’t have to fill out any paper work my obgyn office was able to get all my information over for me, well the buzzer went off this is it!!!! I immediately began to get teary eyed and choked up. (The fear of the unknown) they told me to walk down to another desk, my hubby was not allowed to come they said once I’m all prepped he can come visit. The second desk had a nurse waiting to let me though the big double doors, as soon as I entered my room and saw my SWEEEEET nurse, hospital gown and (ugly socks) I busted out crying. But before the nurse saw me cry she said how are you and then the tears started, she said “ok this is normal and understandable, you are going to be just fine I promise”. Immediately I felt better. She could tell I was very nervous and told me she would have a treat for me after I met with the anesthesiologist. She said if I like wine ill love her forever, she was going to give me some soothing meds and its like a bottle of wine without the calories. I was reluctant at first, I don’t like the outer body experience and not being in control, I think that’s why the whole putting me to sleep freaked me out so much! She asked me some more health history, some crazy question I might add a lot we just laughed through. I met with the anesthesiologist and he was a fun guy! Told me everything that he was going to do and how I would feel when I woke up and got home. Then the knees started to shake and she told me she would get my husband so I could have this zero calorie wine, she felt it was important my husband see me before any soothing meds were given. Like I said I was reluctant at first so she said she didn’t want me to feel pressured but she is treating me like a little sister, again sweet nurse, world of difference. She gave me half of the syringe through my iv and what a help!! Knees instantly stopped shaking and we we’re able to talk and laugh. Then my sweet nurse had to head out for lunch and then the knees started to knock again, she gave me the rest of the wine 🙂 me and my husband shared a few good laughs. The dr who was going to preform the surgery came in sat down with me and told me everything step by step, was so sweet him and my husband were able to laugh and joke about some football. The sweet nurse came back into check on me and told me the OR room is running behind, I’m ready to get this over with. Another nurse comes into my room who was also very kind introduces himself to us and asks my husband to head out because the dr was ready for me. The kind nurses gives me some more wine which was great and fun little ride to the OR room,once I got to the OR room all I can remember is a whole lot of lights and sweet voices, telling me I was going to do just fine. They told me they were going to give me an oxygen mask for some air, after that I was going going gone, waking up in recovery!!!!!!! I actually woke up as they were wheeling me back into my room and felt great! Just a little crampy like a normal period ( I typically have rough ones) I got to see my husband right away, and they asked me what I wanted to drink because I had to pee before they would send me home. I chugged apple juice and water to get the heck out of there. I was gone in no time, I told my husband family and friends you were all right it was nothing! The best sleep I ever had!
However,The moral of this story is that I was scared just like YOU, I will be ok and so will YOU! Not at all throughout this post have you heard me say omg I was in so much pain, that was the scariest thing I ever went through, not at all. I am again so glad I decided to have this pregnancy removed and not wait around for it to pass on its own. I don’t want to say this is what every woman should do, however this is what was right for me. Today is the day after my surgery and I feel great. It does not hurt to walk, I had a ball at my daughters first basketball game of the season, I was shopping at Target as well 🙂 I’m a little sore in my right arm where they gave me a shot to dilate my cervix. I only know about this shot because I asked why is my arm a little sore, and they explained. They said sometimes the dr will give it to you in your hip or arm. All in all yesterday was anything but traumatic, I hope that if this is something that you will be experiencing soon this story will help. Truly the worst part was the silly IV or maybe having to be woken up for that lovely slumber. However, I am not above admitting that I still feel a pinch of sadness whenever I remember that “oh yeah I will not be having a baby in July nor picking out any baby names or registering for my baby shower”- right now there is no baby. However I am definitely on the mend. I also feel people should not have to be so hush hush about a miscarriage or d&c it does truly just make it more scary when its not, my only wish is that I hope what I’ve shared here will help people know what to expect and to not feel so lonely or afraid. Despite all of this I was surprised how quickly I got over things on an emotional and physical level. I hope you don’t think I’m heartless but I have cried and cried about the lack of baby since the day I have found out until yesterday. This information is personal to me and my husband, but I feel I had to share my story because I know in the bottom of my heart I’m not the only woman going though this. This is the kind of post I wish I found on all night Google searches. If you are going through this please please know that you will be OKAY. Please know that I am praying and thinking of you! If you want to reach out please please do I would love to be that person to bring you any comfort. God bless you ALL>

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