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for an entire week! Oh wait a minute... you... you didn't think I meant... oops. :)
Miss Coffee is lucky to have a job where they actually give their employees ample amount of vacation days. Not to mention, she also receives paid sick days and this crazy thing called ‘Personal Days’?!?! “What is the difference between a personal day and vacation day”?
Apparently, a personal day is when you have an emergency and need to leave for the day. For example, Miss Coffee receives a phone call from president Obama asking her to once again, save the planet from space aliens. In a situation like this, Miss Coffee would ask to use a personal day. If I told my employer that I had to leave work to save the planet from a potential zombie invasion… no doubt, their response would be “so you want to use one of your vacation days”?
I’m getting off track; this post is really about the following question:
How long can you function in this world without seeing your partner?
I remember what it was like being single; its true, single life has both positives and negatives. For example, when I was single nobody questioned why I was sitting on the couch watching a Happy Days marathon. However, after being with Miss Coffee for the past couple years… I’ve forgotten how to properly function without her in my daily life. The key term in that sentence is ‘properly function’! It’s not like I need Miss Coffee to hold my hand while I travel to work each morning, I certainly do not require help when using the bathroom, or making a cup of coffee. Safe to say, I can function without Miss Coffee in my daily life.
However, when Miss Coffee and I are apart for more than 48 hours… to be honest, I loose my mind! The strangest things begin to happen; I trip over my own two feet when walking to the office, my hands begin to uncontrollably shake which makes pouring coffee a challenge. In the end, I can’t seem to ‘properly’ function when Miss Coffee is gone for more than 2 days. Earlier this month she went back to Michigan for the weekend and by Sunday morning… I turned into a hermit. When were apart, I know Miss Coffee misses me tremendously… she expresses it all the time while being away. We both struggle with being apart for anything more than a couple days!
Miss Coffee is going back to Michigan in the middle of November… for an entire week!!! She’s spending time with friends and family; plus doing many wedding tasks… like bridesmaid dress shopping. If I turn into a hermit after 2 days; DEAR GOD! What will I become after 5 days!
“Come on babe! It’s only a week… you’ll be fine”
This comment came from Miss Coffee after I expressed that not having her around for a week was equal to being force fed nails and tacks! Her comment has been ringing in my ear for the past 2 weeks… leaving me to ask questions like “Am I some kind of wimp” or “do other guys love it when their FI/WI leave town”? Often, I will have grand plans to go watch a football game with a buddy, work on a project, or even do some writing… but they always seem to fall through. In reality, I end up eating too much junk food, cleaning the apartment, and watching all 3 Back to The Future movies on cable television. I just can’t seem to properly function without Miss Coffee!
Please note, I’m not saying that by day 3 I’ll be crying in my Cheerio’s and screaming “MISS COFFEE COME BACK”! I’m just saying that when Miss Coffee is away… I just don’t feel right. It’s almost like I’ve been ill these past 2 years and Miss Coffee is my daily medicine. She makes me stronger, focused, and in good spirits! When I don’t take this needed medicine for a couple days… well, I get sick. I don’t think I’m out of normal realm here… or am I?
I just want to hear from fellow bees on this subject: answer the following 3 questions:
1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life?
2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time?
3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time?
I’m hoping this is a good post and many of you enjoy answering the above questions. In the end, I think my feelings and emotions are simply saying “Guess what buddy… you can’t live without her”. So when Miss Coffee and I are apart my behavioral changes should be a nice reminder of that fact.
You should also know that when Miss Coffee and I moved to Chicago… she came out 8 weeks ahead of me!!! That was the WORST 8 weeks of my entire life!!! I honestly gained 10 pounds and didn’t sleep during most of that time. I also grew a beard and joined a cult that worshipped Papa Smurf!
Ok… that last part is not true
Mr Coffee
... we have alot of people who actually have fiances leave them and when that happens, we support them 100%. Making a joke about such a thing to get attention is not funny or cute.
I think it definitely is tough when you're separated for a long period of time! FI went to New Zealand for two weeks this summer (while I was studying for the bar...meanie!) and it did take some adjustments. I had to do allll my own dishes and laundry...but then again, I didn't have to do his!
It definitely was quieter around the apartment, which was both a drag and a perk. I will say, by the end of the 2 weeks, I really struggled getting used to sleeping on my side of the bed again. The middle was WAY more spacious.
1. Fortunately, I only had to be without him for 2 weeks and that was early on in the relationship. I do think it's a gazillion times worse for the partner who stays home (I'm usually the one leaving). I think a couple weeks would be my desired limit.
2. Again - hard to say - but I don't think any, actually!
3. I stay up WAY too late, eat junk food... but, I think it's because I'm using those things to fill the space of the absence.
The advice I'd have for you is to PLAN ahead. Give yourself FUN things to do, PRODUCTIVE things to do, and PRACTICAL things to do.
That means, time with friends or family - perhaps an activity you like doing but wouldn't necessarily do with Miss Coffee.... perhaps a project you need to complete but have been putting off (reorganizing and color coding Christmas ornaments... I jest, I jest).... volunteer your time somehow... I guess what I'm trying to say - is invest all that energy into something else... where you can see some benefit from it... so you are sitting there, driving yourself crazy, dwelling on the fact that Miss Coffee isn't around.
It will take some effort and planning - but I think will be a wonderful experience for you!
1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life?
Hmm i cant really think of anything physcial besides my fingers obession to text him every five minutes!
2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time?
He hunkers down and plays video games until the wee hours of the morning *laugh* When i do come back though he is very mushy and gushy for a few days!!
3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time?
Well every day I work from 5:40 am to 5:30 pm and DH gets home around 6:00. Im usually pretty squirrely by around 11:00am :) I used to be really bad and call him but I have broken down to just the odd text here and there that consists of "I love you" "I love your bum" "we should have stayed home and snuggled...work sucks!!" But this urge to text or call makes it hard to physically function properlly
Wow, I feel better now, because I do the same thing! Okay, sort of. I clean, but I don't eat junk food the whole time (unless you count granola for dinner). I'm usually the one that goes on vacation without my fiance, and by day three I'm pretty much done. The vacation's not fun anymore and I get really impatient and moody. So I try to limit my away time as much as possible. =)
Oh God. Mr. Coffee, no worries, I got the joke as it was INTENDED.
To answer your questions, the hubs and I have been together for over 3 years now (married almost 2 mos). He went away for a 4-day weekend a few months ago. I'm pretty independent and chill, so I didn't think I would miss him THAT much, but I DID. It wasn't as bad during the day (because I was busy), but at night, I couldn't really sleep without him. I don't know that I go through as many physical /behavioral 'changes' when we are apart, but I realized just how much I love living everyday life with him, and those couple days when we were apart felt like an eternity. I was depressed and just wanted him to come home.
yikes i don't think it was that serious. i actually immediately assumed it was just a trip and not a breakup. i don't think it's necessary to chew him out for his heading, it's still relevant to his topic. it's not like he said "I JUST FOUND OUT I HAVE AIDS!" and it's about centerpieces.
to answer your questions, Mr. Coffee:
1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life? We're in a long distance relationship and usually go 3 -5 weeks at a time without seeing each other. :[
2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time? he's a tough former-Army paratrooper but he sounds like he could fit in my pocket when we're apart! i think the distance is harder on him since at least i have my family here. his only bit of home is when i visit him so he's like a tiny sad kitty when he's all alone!
3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time? ooh... i get bitchy haha. i start to get annoyed that we have to be apart and then i start acting goofy when the time to visit draws near. one of the guys in the office is always saying "its time for you to go see your man!!" so yeah... be happy it's just a short trip!
OMG... THAT'S IT!!!! I'M DONE!!!! CONGRATS!!! IT'S HUMOR... WE SEE IT EVERYDAY!!! I'M A VERY NICE GUY WITH A KIND HEART!
WE HAVE TELEVISION SHOWS (ABC/NBC/CBS) THAT ARE CONSIDERED VERY FUNNY... WE LAUGH AT THEM EVERY WEEK! MANY OF THESE SHOWS FIND THE ABILITY TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH ALL WHILE TALKING ABOUT INDIRECT *HOT* TOPICS.
IN FACT... MANY TIMES *DIRECT*
SO WHEN I MAKE A INDIRECT COMMENT... The first reply is from a bee making me feel bad about my post!
THATS IT! I GIVE UP!!!
@KMSull: I'm really not sure why you found that so offensive...
1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life?
When FI has to leave for a certain amount of time I take that time to not cook, clean, or do ANYTHING. I usually have Subway for all three meals. But by day three, I start to get a little "you need to come back, I can't sleep... someone's going to break in and kill me in my sleep because they know you aren't here to protect me." Yeah.... by day three I can't function.
2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time?
For him, I don't know what he goes through. He gets overly worried about our dog "How's the dog? Show him to me!" (We skype every night) He then proceeds to have an entire 10 minute conversation with the dog...
3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time?
I know that I get ridiculously paranoid that every sound is someone trying to break in. I become terrified of the dark, I sleep with lights on, I become an insomniac.
My FI has been working out of state for several months now. And, even though we miss each other terribly, I am a silver lining kinda gal, and I am (trying) to just be thankful that he is working in this economy. Especially, since we are trying to pay for this wedding!
1. The longest he has been away is 1 month for a school trip. It sucked, but I was able to make it. I would think that I could last as long as he had to be away.
2. I have found that he has actually started eating better. He used to be a little bit heavy, but being out of town he has been eating much better and his work requires a lot of walking, so I am calling him "Slim" now :) Also, I think the work is really helping him gain more confidence in himself. He is such a good man, and not having a job for 2 months was really starting to get to him.
3. When he is gone, I am finding some time to myself again, and it is really nice. We live together and he is my best friend, so we spend a lot of time together when he is home. Since he has been gone, I have had some good moments of "getting back to me". Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with him, but we all need some time to ourselves.
1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life?
Given that my husband is in the military? I have to be able to function without him around for extended periods of time. I have so far handled 6 months without him, which included me moving over 1000 miles during that deployment. I expect at some point him to be gone for 12-15 months.
2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time?
Lol, he forgets that he has to do little things like cook, clean, etc. On the ship he sends his dirty clothes down to laundry and they get returned to him clean; he eats on the ship and never has to cook or wash dishes. He also learns how to sleep in a shoebox, stay up for 24+ hours in a stretch, and function on high alert for extended periods of time. Deployments suck all around.
3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time?
I tend to take over all of the reponsibilities of the household, from cleaning, cooking, paying bills, to ALL of the banking. It is hard to let go sometimes and let him back into the daily rhythm.
LOL I freaked out for a minute!
1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life? I can only properly function without my DH for 1 or 2 days! Its sad, but true!
2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time? My partner starts to drink whiskey and smoke cigarettes LOL I dont think hes totally serious but I like to imagine it
3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time? I just get REALLY bored and dont know what to do with myself!
@Mr. Coffee: Don't let one bitter person rain on your parade of awesome-ness.
Dont leave Mr. Coffee!! Honestly not everyone will give you a hard time!
I seriously just went and created an account to comment on this page. Mr Coffee is clearly joking and is just back from taking a break due to snarky comments that were previously left on his posts. I've seen so many posts start with a joke, comment, lead-in to get people interested that had little/nothing to do with the contents of the post. Clearly he's not mocking those who are left by their significant others and to imply that he's being "funny" or "cute" in trying to do so is missing the point completely.
Jeez, over-react much??
I don't see what the big deal is...read the post and you'll figure it out.
I hear what you bees are saying... but I mean, really!!!!
It just seems like I can't win here! Miss Coffee is no doubt going to tell me the same thing... "don't just walk away from one bees comment".
It's just that when I write something it has meaning and of course real thoughts behind it... so when the first comment is like that! How else should I take it... more so, after the other weeks negative lashing!
Mr Coffee
@KaitlinHudson: You reminded me of one thing that changes about me! I have to go to sleep with the TV on every night that he is gone! I get so scared at night too! I have two dogs, and sleep with the doors ( even the bedroom) locked. This is so foreign to me too, because I have lived alone before, and it never bothered me then... go figure.
First off, PLEASE don't give up. Your posts are humorous and usually brighten my day.
Now as for the questions:
1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life?
Well, we did a year of long distance and saw each other once every month an a half and were fine then. Now that we've been living together I'd say I can "properly function" for a few days. I do have to say though it is much easier for me to function when I'm away then when I'm the one left behind.
2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time?
When I'm away, he tends to play more video games and drink more beer. I usually find LOTS of empty beer bottles on shelves all over the place when I get home. He also usually does an extreme clean of his fish tank or buys new fish.
3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time?
He's he's away, I will tend to order more not so good for me take out. I also usually return my stuffed animals to the bed as well as watch LOTs of trashy TV I know he doesn't like.
The hardest part for me about when he's not around is I don't sleep well. Every tiny noise wakes me up and makes me think there's a murderer in the house.
1joke
noun \jÅk\
Definition of JOKE
1 a : something said or done to provoke laughter; especially : a brief oral narrative with a climactic humorous twist b (1) : the humorous or ridiculous element in something (2) : an instance of jesting : kidding <can't take a joke> c : practical joke d : laughingstock
2 : something not to be taken seriously : a trifling matter <consider his skiing a joke — Harold Callender> —often used in negative constructions <it is no joke to be lost in the desert>
PS... just like when all of you write something; it has meaning and you put alot into it!!! Being a guy and joining the bee was hard enough... but gesh!
I have people saying things like the other week (which i won't get into)
I have people saying that I'm joining and writing to get blog followers
I have people telling me that I should be more mindful of what I write.
I mean... come on. Really!!!
I didn't even have a blog until a couple days ago and guess what... it's shit!!! I have made one post on it... and I'm re-doing the whole thing!!! To be honest, I don't even know what the "art" of blogging is.
Mr Coffee
jenna- I feel like it's inconsiderate of you to tell Mr.Coffee to get over it. If someone told you they were in LDR for 5 years and only saw eachother twice of every year and you made a post about being sad, would you like if someone told you to get over it?
It can be hard to be away from your SO, no matter how long that is or how far.
Mr. Coffee, seriously don't worry about that comment!
And to answer your question, about 5 minutes :) We hate being apart. I can't sleep when he's away and I was at a work dinner on Tuesday and by 9:00pm he was texting me saying he hated bachelor life :)
When we're apart from each other we're just reminded how wonderful our lives are now. I guess it's a good thing, but I still hate being apart :)
PS It was really nice when we worked in the same building (for different companies). Even if we weren't meeting up for lunch or going home together, it was nice knowing he was two floors below me.
@Mr. Coffee: you could also think about all the couples/families that are serving the military and are away from their loved ones for MUCH MUCH MUCH longer than a week (not to mention, the risks they are facing). That might help put your week in perspective.
Hm, I have a little bit of a different perspective. The Mr and I only see eachother on weekends right now (stupid LDR). So I have sort of "trained" my body in a way that I am used to not seeing him weekdays. Do I like it? No. Do we have to deal with it? Yes. There are some weeks (actually this weekend being one of them) where one of needs to go out of town, or have a prior obligation, etc and it will be 2 weeks between visits. When this happens it normally effects me. But by the time the week rolls around, my head goes back to "normal" since its our norm.
Wow, I totally didnt answer the three questions. Woops!
Unfortunately Mr. Coffee we all have to deal with the sour pusses on here from time to time. I almost had my head ripped off for condoning the use of a tanning bed...you're good at making a joke so just laugh it off! Put the blinders on to the haters and you'll be juuuuust fine. Most of us love you don't worry :)
Back on topic. My man and I just did 4 months apart. It was brutal. I think after a couple of weeks (which is normal for us because of his work) I start to fall apart. I get into "hermit" mode as my friends like to call it. This includes: FI's giant sweatpants (I wouldn't reccomend wearing Miss coffee's pants...unless you're into that), a tub of ice-cream (mmmmm shallow happiness), and lots and lots of box sets of grey's anatomy and sex in the city (sub-in Mr. Coffee's favourites). ;)
@oracle: I totally thought of them after hitting submit!!! I don't know how people can be that strong!!! Amazing! I love our troops and thier families!!!
Jennareid, your response was rude and inconsiderate. If you don't like his posts, then don't read them. Obviously you're in the minority, as the rest of the bees seem to like him.
@Oracle- good point about military families. I don't know how they do it.
@mrs.peters.to.be: I forgot about wearing FI's sweatpants. I usually wear his sweatpants and shirts to bed... then he wonders why he has no clean PJs when he comes home. Oops. :-)
Best to just ignore, and move on with the thread!
I miss my SO for about a day when we're apart. Then I get into the being alone. I like my secret single behaviors and I like my time with the remote control. I miss him a lot more when the dog needs a walk! Or there are dishes! And I miss him at night. But for the most part, I'm okay on my own, and if he's gone long enough (more than a week) I find it really hard to get used to him coming home. His shoes take a lot of space! He leaves the newspaper everywhere! He wants something new for dinner every night! 
I'm glad my husband and I are not the only ones who are pathetic messes when we are separated for a while.
1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life?
Define "properly." We have only been apart twice. Both times were when he went on business trips. By that first night, we were both unsettled. Me, because I am not used to an evening without him at home; him because he didn't like going back to an empty hotel room. Neither of us sleep well without the other. I had thought I'd enjoy having the whole bed to myself like I had when I was single. Wrong. It felt empty and I couldn't sleep. I'd say we both have a "problem" in less than 24 hours after separation.
2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time?
I've never been the one "away." But I know when he goes "away" he texts me constantly and goes right back to the hotel room after dinner at night and calls me. We then stay on the phone until we go to sleep.
3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time?
I tend to watch a lot more TV when he's not around. I used to think I'd be motivated and get stuff done when he wasn't there...but no. I just spend time online (the only time I'm on the Bee in the evenings) or watch TV. I become a vegetable.
Oh, I forgot! I also wear DH's undershirts to bed when he's away. That's what I slept in the night before our wedding. I love him so much! :)
I got the joke Mr Coffee... no worries... Please don't leave because one comment. I love your posts and these are really good questions! We all have to deal with some haters on the bee once in a while.....
1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life? Not very long. The longest I have gone without seeing him is 4 weeks. We were constantly calling/texting each other though! We also lived long distance for an entire year (and this was after 3 years of dating). We saw each other about twice a month and it was a very, very difficult time.
2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time? He plays A LOT more video games when I'm not around. That's it. He stays home and plays video games. I'm not sure if he even stops to eat, shower or go to the bathroom!
3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time? I'm a mess. I eat really crappy food (FI is a health nut), I wear his clothes, I sleep with a stuffed animal AND with the TV on if I have to sleep by myself. Wow, I just unloaded a whole bunch of embarrassing stuff right there.. But it's true! I suck at life when he's not around!
@Mr. Coffee
I just wanted to add also that when my DH and i first started dating, we only dated for three months and then the next four were long distance :( and then that year i went to Thailand for a month by myself while he stayed in a very cold town (-30!!!). The distance, at the time was really difficult. I remember at one point sitting on a beach crying and writing in my journal in Thaliand thinking how much I missed him and realizing that I wanted to marry this man. ANYWHO the point of this story is, on the morning of our wedding my DH gave me a photobook that he had made up himself, it was filled with pics of me in Thailand, some of his favortie pics of us together, him and myself alone and tons of letters and emails that we had shared over the last three years.
My favorite one was a uip he had taken from facebook that said
Post from Bailey:
Come back to Prince George, I miss you <3
I know this isnt what you were looking for in the response but i guess im trying to say is that distance makes the heart grow fonder and sometimes i actually enjoy the time apart. Im just itching to have him back and feel like i love him even more * hee hee* :)
1. How long can you ‘properly’ function without your partner PHYSICALLY in your daily life?
We were in a long distance relationship for two years. So yeah, a week would have been a breeze. I'll go for 3 months. A friend of mine just saw her husband (he was in Afghanistan) after 9 months. During the last month of his deployment, she could hardly function on a daily basis. She was a complete space cadet and a total mess.
2. What (if any) behavioral changes does your partner go through when your away for a long time?
Grumpy for 2-3 days, then gets over it.
3. What (if any) behavioral changes do YOU go through when your away from your partner for a long time?
See number 2.
May I make a suggestion, Mr. Coffee? Maybe you should put your posts up on your blog. I don't have an opinion one way or another towards you posting here, but your posts are an awful lot like blog entries. Since you say your blog "sucks", it might be a way to make it better, since people seem to enjoy your "stories"/posts here.
@jennareid: It's people like you who make this a hostile environment. This is supposed to be a place where people can come together in the most special times of their lives and not feel attacked or put down. I'm really disappointed.
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