Post # 1
So me and the SO are currently in a LDR. It’s not going to be for any super long period of time and we have a set end date in sight, but it’s still kind of hard.
The last time we saw each other we talked about things we wanted to do together at one point and tonight I learned that he did a major one with someone else.
It wasn’t romantic or anything but the level of upsetness that I am feeling is shocking. I realize that it was a case where it couldn’t be helped and I’m just being jealous as all heck, but still.
Is this a common thing in LDRs? Missing out on cool experiences, I mean. Have any of you Bees dealt with it before? Advice?
Post # 3
- Wedding: A very pretty church.
I don’t know what the situation is but I unfortunately have some experience with long distance. Honesty and finding ways to share experiences is what helps :-/
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Unfortunately, this is bound to happen. You might want to discuss which things you’d really prefer he waited to do with you so you don’t get so disappointed again. But you might also want to shorten that list.
Post # 5
I was in an LDR for nearly two years and definitely experienced this. What we ended up doing is working together to compile a short list of the few things we absolutely ‘had’ to do with each other the first time. As for the other things, well we realized that they could be just as special the second time around because we’d be with each other! 🙂
Post # 6
This is really normal! When I started my LDR, I had only known my SO for a week. I moved to go to school in a different city so while he was in school with all of our friends, I was in a completely new city, mostly sitting at home! I would get so upset because he’d do all these things with our friends and I felt this huge loneliness. I think you should definitely talk to him about things that are necessities to do together and for now, you might just have to compromise. It stinks, but there’s nothing glamourous about LDR.
Post # 7
Mattyfeets: Yeah, I know the feeling. My LD DH is camping in Sequoia National Park with his brother and mom right now. I’ve always wanted to go, so I’m a bit bummed. But it’s not that big of a deal, we can just go another time.
What was the experience you missed out on? Is it something you can just do another time?
Post # 8
cbgg: I wanted to go to see Wicked on Broadway with him so we’d lose our “Broadway Virginity” together, but his friend won tickets and he saw it with him a week after I visited.<br /><br />I think I will ask to make a short list with him so I don’t keep missing out on things I really want us to do together. Hopefully it doesn’t sound too demanding.
Post # 9
Mattyfeets: I think the idea of a short list is really sweet, as logn as you both agree to it. It could be fun – you could make a pact to tick one item off the list every time you visit one another 😀
Post # 10
One of the fastest ways to kill an LDR (I should know, I’ve been in two -one of them with my DH) is by doing just that: getting mad when the other person experiences something great! Without you! Those bastards! Ok a little bit of South Park humor aside, you have to learn how to get excited about his having a life that you’re not a part of but that he does share with you and vice versa. Do not wait for any guy (not even your SO in an LDR) to experience anything and don’t expect him to either. It’s actually one of the best parts of bring in an LDR…you experience stuff and come back to your SO and share it with him. Since all you can really do is talk (no distracting yourselves with dates, movies, sex, other friends on your outings) it’s always good to have lots and lots of things to talk about. So instead of being upset ask him to tell you his favorite parts, when he laughed, how it felt, etc. Make it a shareable experience instead of feeling hurt or excluded.