Post # 1
My FI 🙂 is on active duty right now and is away until mid Jan 2013 last we heard, althought it has changed afew times since he orginally left(the day after thanksgiving). And I miss him so much. He told me on the phone the other day he should be able to come home for xmas and new years but who knows with the army. Im hoping these plans will stick. Not Having him around to do holiday stuff is very difficult, i put the lights up by myself and did all the normal holiday things by myself. And i think what made it very difficult this year, compared to years past is i live in a new development and all the couples around me were out putting up there decorations and what not.
Its very hard when he is away becuz i do miss him like crazy and as much as my girlfriends say he is only gone for a few weeks ill be ok, I dont think they truely understand as none of them are in a militarty relationship and some arent even in a relationship period.
Once he gets home from this, hell be home a week or two then leave for classes with the Army which will be a month or so then Oct he’ll leave on deployment for a year. Its very hard and sometimes i feel absoultley alone. We are moving near my folks this coming March so when he does leave for deployment in Oct Ill at least have family around to occupy some of my time.
I guess im reaching out to the military wives to find out if this will get any easier, I dont think it ever will but who knows i may be wrong…its know to happen from time to time lol 😉
Post # 3
To answer your question if it gets easier, in my opinion, yes and no. lol It gets easier in the sense that you learn how to adjust. You find out what distractions work the best, how to do w/ the distance, etc. On the flipside, no, it doesn’t get easier because being away from them is always hard!
I found that the deployent got easier as the time passed because it was a done deal. He was deployed. End of story. You deal with it and move on. However, when he was stateside and there was the constant training schedules, staff duty, time in the field, etc. that was hard b/c it seemed he was always leaving rather than just being gone all in one time. Does that make sense? lol
I do understand how hard it is. Especially around the holidays. I would write my DH a letter everytime I wanted to have a conversation with him, but couldn’t. It helped and he loved receiving a ton of letters when he got back or in the mail.
If you ever need to chat, feel free to PM me. I’ve been there and can sympathize with you!
Post # 4
I am not a military wife but a FI and being away from him is one of the hardest thing I am dealing with. My FI has been injured and for 3 months I hadnt heard from him. The information I received was he was unconscious for 2 months because he suffered head and leg injuries. I did get a chance to speak to him for about 5 mins in which he told me that the is doing better. He was scheduled to return to the US September 30th 2012 but he was attacked September 18th. His deployments was suppose to end then but now he has no idea when he is coming home. This is his last tour and his intentions are to put in his retirement papers.
I have not put up any decorations nor do I plan on it only makes me more depressed and I am determine to go through my days as if they are like any other (no holidays). I have not reached out for any Army support because I have felt snubbed because I am not a wife. I am okay with not being apart of it if it means that I am made to feel less than.
I just pray to Jesus Christ that he is able to come home safe and sound and we can move on with our lives
Post # 5
@JsDragonfly: I love your idea about writing the letters, and i may take you up on talking via pm Thank you so much for your support
@niasg1: Im so sorry to hear about your FI, That is a huge fear of mine being that he keeps deploying, i just pray for him all the times he is gone. I hope he comes home soon to you.
As far as not putting up holiday decorations, I tried that last year (his 3rd deployment) and for me it made it worse, so this year i put up some lights picked out a small tree, and hung up our stockings(even made one for a our dog) hope he likes it, as he will be home for xmas then gone again. I am a FI as well and my hunny has told me about the military support groups but I have been apprehensive about them as i have heard, just like you stated if your not a wife some of the support groups can be alittle less then comforting to a FI.
My prayers are with your FI I hope he comes home to you soon.
Post # 6
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Aw! Hugs to you! I’m a future military wife (and former military) and FI has been gone since last March (he comes home tomorrow, yay!). I tried to put up the tree this year but failed miserably. The darn tree was in a box in the attic and was way too heavy for me to get down with the ladder! So, I put up the pre-lit garland on the stair bannisters and hung up our stockings and lit yummy holiday candles instead! :-p Over time, you will get used to the schedules and him being away for extended periods of time. Always missing him, but better able to adjust to the changes and making your own routines. Good luck!
Post # 8
My fiance just started his innactive duty but we have been together through it all and it does get easier. The first deployment was the hardest becuase I had no idea how to handle it. The second wasn’t so bad and the progressively get easier. It’s all worth it when they come home 🙂