Post # 1
I don’t really know what I’m looking for, maybe just a place to vent. My mom and I are super close, always have been. She’s been my rock my whole life. Well, she now lives 400 miles away from me and I don’t get to see her very often. I’ve been planning,y wedding with her so far away and even picked out my wedding dress without her.
She came into town this past weekend for my bridal shower, and I just had such a good time with her. We did a lot of things for the wedding, but she also helped me reorganize my apartment so I could make room for wedding gifts to come. She had to leave yesterday afternoon, and I’ve just been a wreck ever since. As much as I love my FI and as hard as he tries, I don’t think he really is understanding why I’m upset. He keeps saying “You’ll see her soon!” (Wedding is next month), or “You had a great weekend with her, no reason to be sad now!”; I know he’s tryi g to help, but I told him he just needs to let me work through it. FI is one of those guys that thinks he needs to “fix” every problem I have, so letting me be to work through something on my own is near impossible for him to do. I give him credit, he’s really trying. It also doesn’t help that AF is due this week, so my hormones are probably on overdrive as it is.
Like I said, I don’t really know what I’m looking for here, probably just needed to vent. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading/listening!
Post # 3
Awe *hugs*!! It is totally beyond okay for you to be feeling so sad about her leaving because this is such an important part of your life and definitely emotions are running wild with your wedding coming up quickly.. and that darn AF!
Your FI sounds so sweet, even if the things he is saying arent exactly what you think might help right now, make sure he knows that you appreciate his effort. He may not understand, but it sounds like he is trying.
You really do, as you say, just need to work through this. But your FI is right, you will see her soon! Let yourself be sad for a period of time and then start looking forward to when you see her again! It is such a crazy time that it will really fly by and will feel like she never left! Be grateful for the time you had and WILL have because many brides dont get that, right?
Good luck in your final month countdown! This is so so exciting!!
Post # 4
Have a hug, that’s all I can really offer x
Post # 5
Aww, I’m sorry! I absolutely understand how you feel. I’m very close with my mom as well, and since FI and I moved away and I’m extremely busy with school and work, I don’t see her as often as I would like!
Your FI really is trying to help, in his own way… you’re right, he doesn’t get it, and it’s hard to try to help someone when you can’t understand what they are going through. Just ask him for a little room to breathe and get collected, and make sure that he knows that you aren’t upset over anything that he did.
Post # 7
Thank you, ladies!!! I’m trying to stay busy today and hoping that work will help me feel a little better! This really is a super crazy time, 32 days till my wedding!!! Ahhh!!!
Post # 8
@PermaStudent: that’s good advice, I’m not always the best at making sure he knows I’m not angry with him. I guess I just assume he knows!!
Post # 9
I feel bad fr saying this… But I would kill for mom to only be 400 miles away…
Be grateful you have one and I know it is hard but try to include her in everything possible, even it is over the phone.
Post # 10
I would probably be the same way as your FI! It’s totally sweet that he’s trying to make you feel better. Is he close to his mom like that? I’m not close to mine at all, so I’ve never been able to relate to my friends that are. My old roommate would feel ‘off’ if she didn’t speak to her mother at least once a day, and I thought it was really bizarre.
Post # 11
@MrsCaruso2be: I’m quite close to my parents too, but I’ve learned to pull back a bit now that I’m older. It’s only natural that your relationship with your parents will change now that you are starting your own life 🙂 Don’t worry. Better things are to come.
Post # 12
@MrsCaruso2be: Whenever I’m pissed or upset FI assumes that he’s done something wrong. He RARELY does anything to get me worked up, so I’m not sure why that is the first thought that pops into his head, but it is! I usually tell him that it’s not him, now go away and leave me be. Haha
Post # 13
I’m really close with my mom too. We schedule a weekly Skype date and it really helps to keep me from missing the family.
Post # 14
Thank you everyone!! I’m sure I will be fine tomorrow. FI is close to his parents, but he’s always been much more independent of them than i have with mine. He went to college and graduate school across the country, and then took a job immediately after 6 hours away from his parents. I think he’s just having a hard time understanding why it’s so hard to be away from her, especially now.
All good advice, thanks ladies! I knew I could count on the hive!
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
Aw sweetie I understand! My parents live in Anchorage, thousands of miles away, and most of my BFFs live in Seattle – almost as far – and I just miss them so much it hurts sometimes. It’s really, really tough. Especially when you’re planning your wedding, it’s hard for your mom not to be there! We do a LOT of skyping and that helps. And I hate to say, it gets better. I’m closer to my DH than ever now, he hasn’t taken my mom’s place but the pain of being away from family has mostly subsided.