Missing my mom, FI doesn't understand

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Awe *hugs*!! It is totally beyond okay for you to be feeling so sad about her leaving because this is such an important part of your life and definitely emotions are running wild with your wedding coming up quickly.. and that darn AF! 

Your FI sounds so sweet, even if the things he is saying arent exactly what you think might help right now, make sure he knows that you appreciate his effort. He may not understand, but it sounds like he is trying.

You really do, as you say, just need to work through this. But your FI is right, you will see her soon! Let yourself be sad for a period of time and then start looking forward to when you see her again! It is such a crazy time that it will really fly by and will feel like she never left! Be grateful for the time you had and WILL have because many brides dont get that, right? 

Good luck in your final month countdown! This is so so exciting!!

Post # 5
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Aww, I’m sorry! I absolutely understand how you feel. I’m very close with my mom as well, and since FI and I moved away and I’m extremely busy with school and work, I don’t see her as often as I would like!

Your FI really is trying to help, in his own way… you’re right, he doesn’t get it, and it’s hard to try to help someone when you can’t understand what they are going through. Just ask him for a little room to breathe and get collected, and make sure that he knows that you aren’t upset over anything that he did.

Big hugs!

Post # 6
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

*hugs*

Post # 9
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I feel bad fr saying this… But I would kill for mom to only be 400 miles away… 

Be grateful you have one and I know it is hard but try to include her in everything possible, even it is over the phone.

Post # 10
Member
640 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I would probably be the same way as your FI! It’s totally sweet that he’s trying to make you feel better. Is he close to his mom like that? I’m not close to mine at all, so I’ve never been able to relate to my friends that are. My old roommate would feel ‘off’ if she didn’t speak to her mother at least once a day, and I thought it was really bizarre. 

Post # 11
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsCaruso2be:  I’m quite close to my parents too, but I’ve learned to pull back a bit now that I’m older. It’s only natural that your relationship with your parents will change now that you are starting your own life 🙂 Don’t worry. Better things are to come.

Post # 12
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MrsCaruso2be:  Whenever I’m pissed or upset FI assumes that he’s done something wrong. He RARELY does anything to get me worked up, so I’m not sure why that is the first thought that pops into his head, but it is! I usually tell him that it’s not him, now go away and leave me be. Haha

Post # 13
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m really close with my mom too. We schedule a weekly Skype date and it really helps to keep me from missing the family.

Post # 15
mswallabyBee
2070 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

Aw sweetie I understand! My parents live in Anchorage, thousands of miles away, and most of my BFFs live in Seattle – almost as far – and I just miss them so much it hurts sometimes. It’s really, really tough. Especially when you’re planning your wedding, it’s hard for your mom not to be there! We do a LOT of skyping and that helps. And I hate to say, it gets better. I’m closer to my DH than ever now, he hasn’t taken my mom’s place but the pain of being away from family has mostly subsided.

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