missing RSVPs

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

sugarcube:  they might be waiting for approval or whatnot before committing to yes or no. Why not call them and kindly ask what’s happening?

Post # 3
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

sugarcube:  I dealt with the same crap with my wedding. There were a few people that didn’t respond to my FB messages, but I knew they read them. DH and I just annoyed the crap out of them until they replied lol. When do you need the final numbers by? I’d message them again and say “We understand how easy it is for deadlines to slip, however, FI and I need your RSVP by ____ otherwise we’ll have to mark you as ‘no’, and a seat will not be reserved for you” Good luck!

Post # 4
42089 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sugarcube:  If they don’t respond, I would reach out one final time and say” We need to have our final numbers for the caterer. If  we don’t hear back from you, we will have to consider you a no and will miss you at the wedding.”

Post # 5
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We had about the same number of people not RSVP by the due date and I followed up with them that night (they had 2 months to reply so long enough in my book) via facebook or phone. Some people responded straight away and other left it a few days (even more frustrating, just a yes or no will do thanks). If you haven’t had any responses with a few more days to your messages I would just send them another message saying eg. Hi ___, hope you are well. Just following up the message we sent you last week. Final numbers are due to the venue tomorrow so if I haven’t heard from you by then I will mark you down as a ‘no.’ Regards, sugarcube.


People really can be so rude, how hard is it to reply to an invitation. If they know there will be a delay in asking for time off work and getting it approved etc. then they should make contact and let that be known. One of FI’s friends was getting sent away from work but wouldn’t know for sure until after RSVPs are due so he explained that to us and said he’d tell us when he could. No harm done.

Post # 7
7282 posts
Busy Beekeeper


sugarcube:  I suggest picking up the phone and calling them.

Post # 8
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

sugarcube: (hugs) i hope I didn’t come off harsh — I’m just always “that guest” and a lot of it is that I work in roles with very little redundancy, a lot of client pressure and no way to predict if something’s possible. I used to try to explain it to my bride friends and their response was always “Can’t you get a better / different / other job?” (Um, no or else I’d already have that cushy 9-5!)

so eventually I stopped rsvping anything but maybe. If your guests are being rude, it’s horrible of them but sometimes there may be circumstances out of their control. If you need a definite response, just do as pp have suggested. They should understand 🙂

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