Post # 1
As my RSVP date is coming soon I am wondering what to do about people I am fairly certain wouldn’t be coming, but I have yet (and probably wouldn’t) receive RSVP’s for.
Through facebook I found out that my cousin just got a job in a different state on the other side of the country. His wife, family and him are going to be moving (or are in the process of?) before my wedding. I realize that this is a busy time for them and normally would assume that they aren’t coming, and not bug them.
His wife was invited to my bridal shower this spring. The invite was ‘regrets only’, and she failed to send her regret for that (she is a stay-at-home mom, and there was an e-mail regrets option, she is also on my facebook, she had the opportunity). Also they have had the invitation for a month now. They were married about 3 or so years ago and we recieved their wedding invite about a month before the wedding and with no return postage!
I guess it just bugs me that I know, even if they weren’t moving, I still probably wasn’t going to receive an RSVP from them. (Actually I haven’t received an RSVP from anyone in their family yet!) They aren’t my favorite people, and I really don’t care if they come or not, but it irks me a bit that they don’t have the decorum to send back a simple card saying that they aren’t coming!
(sorry for the vent…..)
So, for the people you are fairly certain aren’t coming, do you still give them the complementary ‘haven’t received your RSVP and wondered if you are coming’ message?
Post # 3
I’d phone or at least send a quick message. Sure you shouldn’t have to, but it’s better than having surprise guests on the big day!
Post # 4
as annoying as it is, don’t sink to their level just because they can’t have common courtesy. wait until the rsvp deadline has passed and contact them with something along the lines of “hey just checking in because we haven’t heard from you and we need our final numbers.” if you don’t hear anything after that, mark them as not coming.
Post # 5
Definitely don’t forget it! Most of my missings came!
I saw it this way: You tried to be formal and polite with the beautiful invitations and RSVP cards. They ignored it.
Now, you do whatever you need to hear from them: text message, e-mail, phone call, facebook. It’s not “bugging them.” You’ll be surprised how embarrassed people will be when they realize they didn’t reply!
Post # 6
I would definitely give anyone you haven’t heard from once the deadline passes a call just to confirm. They should know better, it is common courtesy.
Post # 7
Yeah, I think I’ll send her a quick facebook message when the time comes. Something like, “I saw that you hubby recently got a new job. Congrats on the new job and the move! I need to button down the numbers for my wedding in a few weeks and just wanted confirm that your family is or isn’t coming (I assume with the move you will not be attending, but I thought it would be best to confirm with you.)”
Post # 9
Yes you have to follow up. You don’t KNOW yet that they aren’t coming. You suspect they aren’t coming, but it’s not the same.
Feel free to send them a “If I don’t hear from you by XX date, I will take it to be you aren’t coming.
Post # 10
Darling Husband and I were split on this.
I wanted to be thorough and follow up with every single invite that went out – even if I did not expect the invitee to attend.
Darling Husband, on the other hand, had the mentality of “if they don’t send it back, they’re not coming.” But I KNOW his family – they would never send a pre-paid postage RSVP back (don’t get me started on this…)
Good thing we called to verify. Of the 5 or so missing RSVPs, ALL were planning on coming!!!
I guess you never know!
Post # 11
Your safe bet is to call and check, sometimes people misplace the RSVP card and then think they sent it, or heck even think mentioning anything about your big day means that you will assume they are coming so they don’t send it. Always check.