(Closed) missing RSVPs…how often to bug people?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would send them one more message in a week and if they don’t respond I would mark them down as nos.

Post # 4
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I feel like once I reach out to you once after the RSVP was due, that’s it.  I’m not going to beg you to come to my wedding.  

Post # 5
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

When do you have to give a head count to your caterer? I would send a message a few days before that and say, “Hey there ____. Just wanted to check in about your RSVP to the wedding. We would love to have you there, but I hadn’t heard back and wanted to check in as to whether you’ll be joining us. I give my final head count on ______, so please do let me know before then. If I don’t hear back, I’ll be sad to miss you and mark you as a no. Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you!”

Maybe more or less formal depending on the person. Also, i agree with PPs, you shouldn’t have to reach out to them more than once and you’re well within your rights to just mark them as a no if they fail to respond. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt especially if it’s someone I’d really like to have attend, but you can just give it one more shot and then mark them as no once the deadline rolls around.



Post # 6
7200 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@alex88:  I would probably send one more message and give a deadline. Let them know that after that deadline you will be giving the caterer a count and it can’t be changed so you will be counting them as a no.

Post # 8
5 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

@CaliHoya:  Love it!  So taking this approach.  Mine are due tomorrow, and my fiance has 55 guests who haven’t responded (we invited 200!).  I find it totally unacceptable.  If they don’t respond to my follow up, they will quickly become ‘No’s’ on my list!

Post # 9
9075 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I waited 2 weeks after the RSVP date. Call them and ask for a coming Yes/No and how many people. Simple.

Post # 11
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’d give it a couple days and then send one more saying something like “ok, I haven’t heard back from you and we have to give vendors the final numbers so we’re marking you down as no”.

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