Post # 1
So two of my boyfriends bandmates got engaged yesterday, and my best friend and her boyfriend were talking about getting married this summer. It has hit me like a ton of bricks…
Both couples are super sensible and totally ready to get married and I am happy for them… It makes me feel bad that after (going on) 6 years that my bf still hasn’t made a move toward being engaged other than alot of talk. I just wish that it happened already. I want it to be my turn darn it! 🙁
Post # 3
Has he stated he believes in marriage or are you holding out for something he doesnt consider important? You might need to discuss why this is so important to you, and why it clearly isnt to him.
Post # 4
Awwww I have so been there, not with Fiance but with my last relationship prior to Fiance. You put on a happy front for the other couples but deep down you are so sad and wondering what is taking so long? I think it’s time for you to sit down and have a serious discussion with your bf about this, before it ruins your relationship like it did mine. He needs to know how you feel. I eneded up breaking up with my ex because of his committment issues (and then as soon as I did that, wouldn’t you know, he proposed, but it was too late for me, plus we had a ton of other issues). My ex told me he never knew I felt this way, so please talk to you bf.
Post # 5
Ahh I know that feeling! It is totally natural and it will pass.
Maybe it is time to have another chat with him about your relationship?
Post # 6
Yes, he’s said he wants to marry me. I would not have waited this long for someone who had no interest in marrying at all. We have even looked at rings, quite a lot actually. I’m just still waiting, and it’s getting old.
Post # 7
We did have a talk today. And I don’t feel like it got us anywhere. He likes to blame my emotions on my “time of the month.” maybe another time would be better.
Post # 8
Have a marriage talk.
You need to know if he sees marriage in his future. Key word, *his* future. If he doesn’t, but it’s something you want, you need to know so you can move on. If he does, you have to decide on your own if you’re willing to wait for him.
The only talk Fiance and I ever had about marriage was one day I asked him if he wanted to get married someday, not necesarily to me, but to someone, someday, is marriage something he wants for himself. He said yes. End of conversation. That’s the kind of conversation it needs to be, because that’s the kind of conversation guys can handle. You have a right to know if he believes in marriage, so you can make your decision, but you have to come at it in a straightforward and matter-of-fact way that doesn’t try to nag him into proposing.
Post # 9
I can relate 100%, especially the temptation to feel bad about your own relationship in comparison to those of others.
But you are totally within your rights after 6 years to get some clear answers from him. You need to let him know that this is important to you, and that you don’t appreciate having your feelings invalidated.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
My #1 tip: Don’t get emotional. It freaks men out. My pre-engagement breakdowns were super alarming to my now Fiance and really didn’t speed things along.
Post # 11
I’m really sorry, sweetie. It sucks to see friends in the place you want to be so badly.
Have you found out his timeline, and shared yours? 6 years is long enough where you need to know if he’s on board or not. If your timelines don’t sync up, or he can’t give you a straight answer after 6 years, it’s not fair to keep wringing you through the waiting torture.
Post # 12
@MissPatience: six years is way too long.
guys can date forever.
you need to tell him your expectations….otherwise it’s going to be another six years. if he gets mad at you or threatens to break up, then you know he’s not serious about your future. better to know where you stand then waiting another six years.
Post # 14
@MissPatience: He likes to blame my emotions on my “time of the month.”
That sounds kind of mean 🙁 You don’t have to wait until another time when HE feels as though your cycle isn’t making you irrational. Never let a guy tell you you’re just PMSing. It’s not right to dismiss someone’s feelings depending on where they are in their cycle. 6 years is a very long time to wait only to be brushed off like some hysterical woman who can’t think straight.
Post # 15
It’s a natural feeling. My now fianace and I had been together for 5 years when he proposed. He recently proposed on our 5 year anniversary in December!
Everytime I heard of a friend or friend of a friend getting engaged, I would get sad and often discouraged wondering when it would finally be my time. Like you, we had talked about marriage and rings and our future, I was just unsure of when it was going to happen. For the last 6 months leading up to our engagement I must have mentioned it weekly.
And now that we are engaged, we couldn’t be more excited and I feel like it was well worth the wait.
If he is serious about you and the relationship, talk to him and if he isn’t understanding of your feelings it may be time to reconsider your relationship. My fiance would discuss it was me, smile and tell me it was coming soon and to not ruin the surprise.
But honestly at some point, enough is enough – 6 years is a long time. I’d discuss it with him and tell him your real feelings.