Mixed feelings about testing for infertility

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012


I feel like it would be important for him to go with you to your appointment. Maybe some of his concerns or misconceptions could be answered as well? 

Why can’t he attend? Is it just because he doesn’t want anything to do with clomid? 

Post # 4
1771 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Sending a hug your way. That sounds tough.  Maybe DH is scared and processing it differently. One thing that helps me is remembering that like everything in marriage, this is a team effort.  Somethings I do better, something he does better, and it all works out.  I hope you get your baby soon!

Post # 6
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

That sounds like a whole lot of willful ignorance on your husband’s part. Has he actually taken any time to read about PCOS, the testing you are goping through, and clomid? He needs to become an active partner in this journey instead of acting like the gd peanut gallery with his ill informed opinions.

Post # 7
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m sorry, @princessbelle:  I can only imagine how stressful this all must be, and that your DH isn’t being helpful. I agree with @lovekiss:. I think you need to have a “Come to Jesus” on this and figure out what the deal is. Is he afraid of having children, and maybe this is a convenient out? 

If it were my husband, I can say that he would be sucking up the tired and coming to the appointment with me, particularly if he was so misinformed and refused to listen to me talk about my medical problems. That way the doctor can explain the problem, the procedures, and answer any questions he might have.

Good luck.   

Post # 9
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m sorry to hear about your frustration!  I’ve been going through the same testing.  I just had the HSG on Monday – I know different women have different reactions, but I found it to be very easy and not too painful.  Just a pretty severe cramp for about 15 seconds or so.  

Maybe I’m weird, but it never even occurred to me to ask my husband to go!  It was in the middle of the workday, so he wouldn’t have been able to come anyway.  I think it’s a symptom of having been single for 15 years – I am just so used to doing everything alone!

Have you used OPKs?  I just started this week.  This whole thing is so weird!  My next step is making an appt with an RE – I have a feeling she’ll put me on Clomid too.  My FSH and AMH are great, but my pregesterone is low.  Apparently that’s treatable though, so I am hopeful.  

Good luck to you!

Post # 10
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@princessbelle:  I think that if after your appointments, he’s still not agreeing with the medical recommendations you received, you might want to ask your doc to a referral to a counselor with experience in supporting couples with fertility challenges. It’s one thing to question recommendations and seek out second opinions, but to refute everything in favor of no action and then leave you feeling heavy stuff emotionally isn’t fair.

That said, when facing challenges, some guys prefer trying to solve the problem all on their own for as long as they can tolerate (no manuals, instructions or youtube videos will do), some prefer to dive into research, some like “expert” opinions, and some just need time alone to think. I’m sure you have some idea about how he prefers to deal. 

Post # 13
6467 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@princessbelle:  Hi lady, I am glad things are looking better for you and DH. Just from experience, I would totally take my DH word if he wanted to go with me. I would probably ask him to please go with me even if he didn’t say anything. You need all the support you can get. Best wishes. I hope your BFP is around the corner.

Post # 14
1771 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Glad things are a little better.  Hoping you get a BFP soon!

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