(Closed) mixed gender friendships

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
13101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I see nothing wrong with girls being friends with guys and guys being friends with girls.  It is actually perfectly normal and to be expected, IMO.

I’ve always been so confused be the posts on here where people practically forbid their SOs from having friends of the opposite sex.

Post # 4
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think it’s Chronicles of Riddick to think twice about “mixed-gender friendships.” I’ve never really heard anyone who was worried about it except on Weddingbee. It just doesn’t make sense. Who are queer people supposed to be friends with? Why would you want to go through life without close personal relationships with men? 

Post # 5
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t see a problem with having friends of the opposite sex. Not even if you had a romantic history – all if your FI is OK with it. Don’t worry about the reactions from friends and others. The only reaction you should be worried about is your FI’s.

(By that, I don’t mean that he should dictate who you are friends with or anything, only that if there was a particular person that was making him uncomfortable for a good reason, it might be worth taking the potential consequences to your relationship into consideration.)

I’ve always had mostly guy friends and very few girlfriends, so if I had to suddenly eliminate those friendships, I’d be pretty lonely!

Post # 6
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

One of my best friends is a guy. He’s married to my very best friend. So no, I don’t think there’s a problem with opposite gender friendships.

What really matters here is how things are with you and your FI. If things are bad, and a person is not getting what they need out of their relationship, that’s where a close friendship can either be extremely helpful or a possible problem – the basis for an emotional or physical affair, for example.

In my own example, FI is also quite close with my BFs.  When I meet new people, I usually make a point of making sure FI meets them and involving him (even peripherally) in the friendship. If I feel a spark or an attraction for some reason (let’s face it. It happens. I’m engaged, not dead), I distance myself from that friendship until I’ve sorted myself out. No sense in borrowing trouble. And of course, if I got a sense that a male friend wanted to be more than friends anyway, that relationship would pretty much be over.

That’s my take on it, anyway.

ETA – I’m pretty sure this is the approach that FI takes to his friendships as well. We talked about it a while ago, I can’t remember what brought it up.

Post # 7
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Mrs.KMM: I agree.

It sounds like the beginning to a wonderful rekindled friendship. Potter wants to meet your FI, you and your FI are laid back and trusting of each other…don’t listen to that one friend, that sounds like the product of her own issues more than anything having to do with you.

Post # 9
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Mrs.KMM: exactly. we have friends of both sexes, and their are no issues.

Post # 10
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I see no problems as long as there is absolutely no secrecy involved ever. I have always had a ton of guy friends–probably more so than my gal friends. I have found, however, that it seems to be harder to make friends with people of the opposite sex once you are in a committed relationship, and it SUCKS! I know that I’d never cheat or do anything wrong but there has been enough cheating in the world that everyone’s head immediately goes there. It’s not fair. If you and your man trust each other enough it should be fine but definitely look for his phsyical reactions and talk to him about it.

Post # 12
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We have decided not to have friends of the other gender aside from keeping up with old friends from school on facebook but no lunches of phone calls or anything. But thats just us as long as there is no physical attraction between the 2 friends or jealousy then it shouldn’t be a problem.  

Post # 13
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@stokieGal: I have plenty of male friends and my FI has plenty of female friends and we are both fine with that…. We know how we feel about each other and our friends (males and females ) respect our relationship.

 

Post # 15
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I love my guy friends! Some of the ones I’m closest with are my ex’s too, and FI has become friends with them as well. (But I must say ex’s from 8-12 years ago, none are recent). I must say though that I’ve had a few guy friends who i thought were really good friends and it turned out they had a more romantic interest they were keeping hidden. These situations have made me sad b/c to be fair I end up distancing myself, not fair to FI or to them, sometimes I think its unfair to me haha, why can’t we just be buddies!

Post # 16
Member
5668 posts
Bee Keeper

@Mrs.KMM: This completely.

I’m baffled by some posts on here.

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