(Closed) mixed signals! what do ya’ll think about this?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

I think you can drive yourself crazy trying to read into these kind of signals. Have you thought about directly asking him if he can see the 2 of you gettting married someday?

Post # 4
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think you are reading too much into it! If you analyize every move, you’ll drive yourself crazy. He may not realize the “we” “if” and “I” things. And if he said it wasn’t a big deal, all you can do is believe him. 

The waiting phase is really tough! You know you want to marry him, but now the ball is in his court and there’s nothing you can do, right? So relax, take a deep breath and try to enjoy the ride. It’s easier said than done, but you that’s why you have all the Bee’s here!

Post # 7
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@juneebee:  Impatience is something I’m really trying to work on too. It’s difficult somedays!

Post # 9
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you are doing the “girl” thing where you read too much into things.

Also, it’s your wedding, too. Just because he says he wants it a certain way doesn’t mean that you get no say.

Post # 10
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I had to have a “wording” talk with my SO and it was incredibly hard to get him to wrap his head around the importance of his words. But I explained that I can’t read his mind and therefore have to analyze what he says. I pointed out that when he said things like “I just know with my luck I’ll end up with little girls.” What I heard was “I’ll end up with little girls but you won’t be their mother.” And all it took to fix that was the word “we” in place of “I”. He seriously had no idea how much it bothered me. In his mind it was a given that I’d be there with him watching “our” munchkins grow up. Now he is very good about “when you graduate and we get married and buy a house”.

The moral of my micro rant: Tell him that the way he is phrasing things bothers you. He probably has no idea that its driving you crazy.

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