(Closed) MOB dress etiquette

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry I can’t really help you… I haven’t been to a lot of weddings and this surprises me! I never knew that MOBs and FMILs were supposed to coordinate. I thought everyone just wore a nice dress and called it a day!!

Is your mom aware that others are taking cues from her dress choice? Are you wanting them to coordinate? Maybe your FMIL and FSMIL will want to buy their dresses earlier and your MOB can take her cue from them since she will be buying last.

Or, alternatively… just wear whatever they want and not worry about eachother? I am sure everyone will look stunning!

Post # 4
Member
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you mom doesn’t want to go try on dresses earlier, than I would just let FMIL to choose whatever she wants to wear. Yes, traditionally the MOG waits out of courtesty to the MOB, but in this case, I don’t think its right to make her wait any longer. 

Post # 5
Member
3200 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@BeeandBeeBride27:  my mom is doing the same thing, and i told her if she was going to wait that long i was going to have MOG go ahead and get her dress and MOB would have to work around what she picks. she agreed. i know it breaks tradition or whatever, but go ahead and let everyone else pick!

Post # 7
Member
1967 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

They don’t need to match. I’d give the other ladies the go ahead & then let your mom know what they’re wearing so their dresses don’t clash. 

Post # 8
Member
6144 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Technically they are supposed to wait until your mother picks out her dress but she kind of forfeits that “right” by refusing to get a dress early enough to allow them to get their dresses.

Post # 9
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@AmyFarrahFowler:  +1 yes, exactly. Tell your mom she’s stressing you out too…cause that’s just crazy. My step mom pulled something similar, but her thing was that she’s gained weight and was just really unhappy with herself and didn’t want to try on clothes. My dad enlisted one of her gf’s to take her out and they got it done.

Post # 10
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The etiquette is that she is supposed to choose first.  I guess if she doesn’t want to, I would tell the others ladies to go ahead and do so, if they are comfortable choosing first. 

Post # 11
Member
6144 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

*double post*

Post # 12
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@BeeandBeeBride27:  This is exactly what my mom is doing too (and our wedding is only 4.5 weeks away!), she hasn’t gone and tried on any dresses yet – and it’s starting to stress me out a lot.  Anyways, typically the MOB gets to pick her dress first, and FMIL follows, but in our case, my mom was totally fine with FMIL picking her dress first, so that’s what we did.  

I definitely feel the same worry that you are feeling, especially because I always try and get things done as early as possible and my mom is the complete opposite!

Post # 13
Member
2613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@BeeandBeeBride27:  Her dress, her problem.  If she wants to wait to buy, then the MOG and SMOG should feel free to get their own dresses – they’re not obligated and should not be aksed to wait. 

Post # 16
Member
2660 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@BeeandBeeBride27:  I think is more of a traditions thing as opposed to an etiquette thing.  Traditionally, the MOB picks out her dress first and then the MOG picks her dress to coordinate.  Personally, I think this is a very silly and outdated tradition.  This definitely isn’t something anyone has to follow.  I’d let her and your FMILs pick their dresses whenever it suits them.  If your mom wants to wait until she’s lost more weight, then that’s fine.  Your FMILs don’t need to wait for her.

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