Post # 1
Help! I need some advice.
Yesterday, my mother took me to see the dresses she was looking at for my December wedding. Our colors are brown, copper and green. I loved a brown dress she picked. The one she really loved, however, was a strapless A-line ballgown in pale gold covered in white flower appliques, and swarovski crystals. Personally, I feel like it looks too bridal and way more formal than my dress. (It also happens to be more expensive than my dress was).
She loves the dress, and doesn’t think it looks like a wedding dress…but I get the feeling that her goal is to be the center of attention. Also, both my parents will be walking me down the aisle. When my grandmother saw her in the dress she said, “oh, you are going to just sparkle when you walk down the aisle.” I feel like I have already given her full control over the reception, but the ceremony should really be about me and FI.
Am I overreacting? Not sure if i’m just being crazy or if i should say something?!
Post # 3
If it bothers you – tell her!
The only persons opinion on whether it is appropriate or not is yours and it is hard for me to judge without a pic of the dress!
Post # 4
Hilary Clinton had a fabulous dress for Chelsea’s wedding and Chelsea still looked amazing and was the center of attention. However, Hilary’s dress was fushia. Maybe you can find a really similar dress in a color. Maybe you could post the dress. Do keep in mind that once you are down the aisle your mom will sit down and you’ll be getting married and the center of attention.
Post # 5
If it bothers you I think you should sit your mom down and tell her! Let her know…nicely 🙂 And maybe have some options you’ve found online that are similar in style to the one she liked.
Post # 6
my thoughts exactly. You’re the bride, so unless your mother starts making a scene and PUTTING herself in the spotlight, you’ll constantly be the center of attention. However, voice your concerns and feelings. The worse she can do is object and get it anyway.
I’ve actually talked a friend who’s going to be a BM to dress up in a very sexy outfit (costumes required for wedding party and welcomed for guests, lol). I’m fully aware that she’s got an amazing figure and will stand out, but she’s a great friend and I want her to have the most fun (especially since I know there will be lots of single guys there, hehehehehehe). I know my FI and I will be the center of attention, no matter who wears what, so it doesn’t concern me.
No matter who wears what (unless it’s another bridal gown) you and your FI will be the center of attention because YOU are who the party and celebration is all about.
Post # 7
I really need to see a pic of the dress to decide, but if you think it’s inappropriate, since it is YOUR wedding, you should tell her. Just try to do it gently..
Post # 8
I think it would be fair enough to say “Mum it’s a gorgeous dress that looks great on you, but I’m just worried that it’s even fancier that my dress, and I’m the bride! I think it might be better if we found you something that was more in keeping with the style of wedding we are going for, but still makes you feel great.” I would make it more about the wedding itself than her dress or taste in clothes. Good luck – I dreaded having to have this conversation with my mother (but in the opposite way – her not looking fancy enough) but in the end she bought something absolutely perfect and I thankfully didn’t have to 🙂
Post # 9
thanks everyone for the input! I wish i could post a picture, but its a couture gown and they wouldnt let us take a picture until she buys it. Here is a picture of something kind of similar.
Post # 10
As a mother and a daughter, I highly recommend telling her how you feel. I am sure your mother was just so excited at finding something she loved and looked good in, that she let her judgement be clouded.
Have a heart to heart with her, I’m sure she will understand.
Post # 11
wooaah! That is definitely way too bridal if she is walking you down the isle. You should talk to her; the other bees have great suggestions on how to broach this topic!
Post # 12
If it really bothers you, talk to her and see if you guys can work something out.
Post # 13
Thats too bridal in my opinion. ANd if its going to bother you then you need to tell her. Good luck!
Post # 14
Wow – I thimk that would bother me too!
I would tell her how you feel and then try and find something similar in a brighter colour!
Post # 15
I definitely wouldn’t have a problem with it. Your mom is probably just excited to have the opportunity to dress up in something glamorous for the day. Nobody is going to outshine the bride. All eyes will be on you, regardless of what your mom wears. I know some mother/daughters who are very competitive with each other, but trust me….your day will be all about you, not your mom 🙂
Post # 16
Definitely not appropriate, unless of course she is trying to steal your thunder.