- 6 years ago
I really need to rant, so this will get out of my system and I can have a productive day.
Lengthy back story: My Dirty Delete lives in PA, wants a beach wedding. Decided to have it in VA so family here could attend as well, with a small outdoor (maybe cake and punch) reception immediately following ceremony for maximum of 100 guests, casual but nice, and a reception a week later in PA that she and FH are paying for. Doesn’t make sense to me to seperate things like that, but fine, it’s her wedding, if that what she wants, we’ll work with it. Wedding is scheduled for 7pm (area of this beach will have photo op for sunset pictures), no alcohol will be served due to additonal expense of getting ABC license and requirement of hiring a cop to be present in case someone needs to be arrested (wedding is at a state park). Dirty Delete and FH ran into some financial trouble, so I was told by Dirty Delete they may only do a small party for people/friends up there. So I begin planning for a “wedding/reception”. I’m DIY programs, favors, food, etc, and spending a LOT of time trying to figure out a menu that won’t wilt, melt, spoil or get soggy in the heat and humidity. Trying to figure out logistics of DIY for 100 people (tables, chairs, linens, decorations, food) since we have a very small budget to do this, and trying not to step on DD’s toes and still give her close to what she wants.
Rentals of tables, and getting/setting up for this reception is just not doable on our budget or with the manpower we have, so I tell Dirty Delete to tell her, DON’T SEND THE INVITATIONS YET, we need to change something. Venue for reception was changed to a location near our house (35 mins from wedding), but it’s free (husband’s club dues pays for it), and she can have, not only what she wants, but actual champagne toast, still no other alcohol being provided, well, maybe beer. After initial shock, she was ok with this, so I told her we needed to change/add to the invitation now so we could distinguish who was attending wedding, reception in VA, party in PA, all three, or none. Previously assumed that whoever came to wedding would come to reception, since it was the same location. No big deal, just add an extra response and reception card to the invitation. With change of venue, some may not want to drive that far. Well, I couldn’t have been more wrong!!
Enter the problem: Future Sister-In-Law made invititations, spent much time on them making these scrapbook-y type things, but didn’t send me a draft copy before printing them. No problem, I trust DD’s judgement that they were OK. Now, Dirty Delete tells me, no problem, the invite just says “small cocktail party after ceremony” WHAAAAAAT!!!!!! COCKTAILS!!! We were NEVER going to provide cocktails. I tell her, “Fix it, cut that part off, black it out, something” Needless to say, I’m horrified, and that isn’t the worst of it. She says she can’t, she’s already sealed the 130 envelopes. 130 ENVELOPES!!! HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU INVITING?!!! Red flags are going up all over the place now, my husband’s reputation is on the line. I made her text me a picture of the invition. At the bottom of the appropriate wording, it says, “Small cocktail party immediately following ceremony” Next line, “Main reception to be held….PA” MAIN RECEPTION?!!! COCKTAIL PARTY?!!!!
Am I wrong to be as horrified/hurt/offended as I am about this? I made new invitations in about 15 minutes, printed them on my home computer, and plan to send them, if this doesn’t get any worse. She’s supposed to box up the invitations, send to me (already addressed, sealed, and stamped, I might add) to fix. I don’t want to fix them, I want to trash them. I want to cancel this whole thing. It’s been two days, and I’m still hurt. She’s mad at me and won’t talk to me. I’ve already apologized. She thinks I’m being unreasonable. I think she’s acting like a bridezilla. :'(