- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I know everyone has their own drama and their own problems to deal with in their own wedding planning, but I’m really frustrated and could use some advise and some kind words. Also, maybe this will make some of you feel better about your own situations and maybe you’ll get a laugh or two at my expense! If so, maybe then it will be worth going through it. Something good has to come of this!
My mother from day one of my engagement, has been very confrontational about every decison my Fiance and I make. From the venue to the food, to the invitations, to the guest list. My Fiance and I are paying for the wedding and have had to put our foot down many times on some of her very rediculous requests (like a 550 person guest list that she refused to narrow down) only to hear that we didn’t really want her opinion in the first place. We’ve tried to include her and she now refuses to offer any more opinons, stating “you don’t care what I think, anyway”. So we keep trying to include her, and just suffer through the insults, but this Christmas she went a little too far for me and I am confilcted on how to handle it.
I had to work both Christmas eve and Christmas day. She was aware of this before she came to visit. I tried my best to fit in both my FI’s family Christmas eve and my family Christmas day. Everyone but her was happy with the plan and the outcome. She was invited to Christmas eve dinner with my Future In-Laws, but at the last minute (literally 5 mins before we were supposed to be there) she backed out. They were dissapointed and obviously hurt. I covered for her with a reasponable and somewhat true excuse. Then Christmas day, she refused to eat with the rest of my family at meals, refused to open any gifts, (but whatched as the rest of us did) and stayed in bed pouting most of the day. When she did come out of her room, she was less than pleasant to be with and constantly gave me the stink eye.
My Future In-Laws extended another invitaiton later in the week, to which my mom asked my Fiance “do I have to go?” I didn’t care if she wanted to or not at this point, everyone else wanted to go and had been sad they missed out on Chrismas eve because of her, so we all went. She bad mouthed my Fiance and I the entire night, including telling my Future Mother-In-Law that her son treats me like a dog, and that she will never get along with my Future Mother-In-Law because their zodiac signs are not compatable. Furthermore, when we got home she asked my Fiance, “can I stop being nice now?” She then continued to pout the rest of the evening on the couch.
They were supposed to stay through New Years, but left, unsurprisingly, a couple days ago, with her unopened presents in tow.
I am appaled at my mothers behavor, and have no idea how to handle it. My Fiance was so kind and supportive of me, but still it caused tension between us. He too was appaled at her behavoir. All the honor we had planned to give her at the wedding and on the invitation, he is now second guessing and honestly I am too. I want nothing more than for her to be a part of this planning process, and I want nothing more than to share this entire experience with the only mother I have, but am finding harder and harder to include her. She has fulfilled her own phoshesy. I did at one time truly care what she thought, it is her actions that are leading me to not care or even ask anymore. I hate that it has come to this.
What do I do!?