Post # 1
Hello everyone, I was hoping to receive some advice on a subject I was completely ill-prepared for! I’m not the most stylish or creative person and my mother, who will be walking me down the aisle, was kind enough to ask what kind of dress I thought she should wear for the wedding. The only thing I could come up with was basic black. My dress is champagne and the wedding party will be wearing apple red (though the fabric, hammered satin, makes it look darker than most reds). My mother was concerned that wearing a black dress to walk me down the aisle would look too much like she was in “mourning” over the affair, and I really don’t want her to wear something that A) makes her look like just another member of the bridal party, or B) will clash with my champagne satin dress.
So far, she has brought home one dress for my approval – see below. It’s black and “tea-length” and has lace across the bodice, arms, and upperback. It’s a lovely dress, but upon seeing it, I am nervous about how other guests might perceive her walking me down the aisle in black. My thinking was that the FOB walking the daughter down would likely wear a tux (often in black), so why not the same for the MOB?
Any ideas or suggestions? What do you think about her wearing black and walking me down the aisle? Our wedding will take place this November with an outdoor ceremony and indoor reception. Our colors are burgundy (like red wine) and pale, pale gold (think white wine) and my dress is fairly elaborate and dramatic (I can post pictures of it, too, if necessary).
Post # 3
My mom’s wearing black to my wedding (because she’s concerned about her weight) and she and my dad are both walking me down the aisle. I think that black would be appropriate. Maybe she can wear red jewelry?
Or maybe her dress could be dark red, as long as it’s dramatically darker than your bridesmaids.
Post # 4
My father and my maternal aunt walked me down the aisle (my mother is dead), and my aunt wore a black dress for the same reason you mentioned — she figured she’d match my father’s black tux.
Post # 5
Oh, also, I just totally let my aunt choose a dress she thought was appropriate (she’s a grown woman, she can dress herself!), but she really wanted to run it by me before purchasing it, so I just sent enthusiastic approval of what she chose rather than trying to pick something for her.
Post # 6
I say she should wear whatever she wants and makes her feel pretty. Black, purple, polka dot…
Post # 7
Thank you for the replies, I’m glad to know that black would be an acceptable color 🙂 I was thinking about my gift to her being some red jewelry (ruby is her birthstone and I felt it would be sweet for her to wear something I bought for her as she escorts me down the aisle).
I don’t mind the dress she has picked out so far, though I think perhaps the tea-length is throwing me off a bit. Is it just me or does it kind of truncate her? She’s not a petite woman (she’s about 5’6″), but having the hem at her calves makes her legs seem shorter. And, of course, those shoes are not the ones she will be wearing 🙂
I do want my mother to look beautiful and comfortable for the wedding, and I am glad that she asked me my opinion and for guidelines to follow. I’m having a hard enough time picking out my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses though, so it was a little unnerving to also be faced with guiding her dress selection!
Also, my dress:
Post # 8
As an alternative to black that would not clash with your existing bridal colors, what about silver?
Post # 9
My mother initially wanted to go with a pewter dress she saw after we got mine, but the consultant warned us away from any cool colors. Because my dress is champagne (and has warmer hues due to the satin material), she told us silvers and charcoal grays would clash with my dress :/
Post # 10
@Spritey: Well, I knew that it would contrast with yours, but just as some women love to mix metals with white gold and yellow gold, I thought it would still look pretty. However, I think it would be wise to follow your consultant’s advice. Hmm. Well, how about gold or bronze?
Post # 11
I love black and think it’s totally appropriate, but I also think gold, bronze, or chocolate brown would complement your color palette well.
Post # 12
I also think black will look fine and be very elegant with your champagne dress- especially if you follow through with your idea of ruby jewellery for her.
It’s not just you. The dress does shorten her visually, but that is easily solved. It is just an inch or so too long on her. She could either shorten it, or wear a fuller crinoline.
There are many different lengths that are called ” tea length”. Google it to show her how much more flattering it would be hemmed a little higher on her calf.
ps LOVE your dress!
Post # 13
@Brielle: I hadn’t thought about gold or brown, but considering it’s a fall wedding and my mother does look good in brown, that’s another option in case this one doesn’t work out 🙂 There’s also the question of my Future Mother-In-Law, as she wanted pictures of my mom’s purported dress to look for her own. At least now I will have some alt. color options for her to consider as well! Thanks!
@MelissaSB: Thank you! Same as above, with regard to Future Mother-In-Law needing a dress 🙂
@julies1949: Oh, I’m glad it’s not just me! And I’m also glad to hear that shortening it is an option. I want her to look elegant and like a MOB, but I definitely don’t want her looking at our pictures a few years down the line and lamenting that she looks shorter and chunkier than she is. I will see about looking up some pictures of calf-length dresses and perhaps take her to a tailor to see about getting the dress improved upon 🙂 And thank you so much for the compliment on my dress! I am not a hyper-feminine girl, but I really wanted a dramatic gown for my big day, and this dress has just that feel! You can’t tell from this picture, but it has a chapel-length train and the veil my mother chose for it is cathedral length…so it’s quite the amazing picture from behind ^_^
Post # 14
I think that black is fine, and I think that the dress is a perfectly lovely dress BUT it doesn’t speak to me as a MOB dress. My problem with it is the length, which makes it look a little too on the casual/little girl side. I think that the gown occhiblu’s aunt wore is a very regal looking dress since it’s floor length, but if your mom doesn’t want to wear a floor length, it could cut off right at, or above the ankle. Or she could even do knee length. I just feel like the length of the dress is at an awkward cut off point, where it’s not quite knee, not quite ankle, where is it? kind of place. That ends up shortening her.
Post # 15
I like the dress she brought home, long or tea is fine, black or red or a print is fine.
Think about whether or not she wants gloves or a hat!
Its gonna be great, imagine her love and support.
Post # 16
Ha! We are color palette twins! I also have a champagne dress and my BM’s dresses are apple red in SILK! Funny!
I actually love your mother’s dress, but I do think that she should have it hemmed to the knee. My own mother is having a semi-crisis about what to wear as well. She is a bit of a fashionista, and has purchased about 4-5 dresses but has not decided what to wear. I had to nix one of them right off the bat — when she brought home a head-to-toe, floor length, CHAMPAGNE, beaded dress! Whose wedding is this? lol!
Good luck with everything! I’m sure you both will be beautiful 🙂