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You know, I was totally of the opinion that MOBs should absolutely under no circumstance wear anything white, until I went to a wedding last weekend where the MOB wore a white suit. It looked classy and beautiful, and she did not upstage the bride at all in any way!
I think you should just let it go. It's not worth fighting over. All eyes will be on you anyway.
For one I don't feel like white on anyone else at the wedding really matters. It's not going to take away from your dress and your day. Also, as much as we love having control over the day, we brides in all seriousness do not get to dictate what the guests wear, the exception being the bridal party. If you really don't like the idea of it, just mention that "hey, I saw this really awesome dress at such and such and immediately thought of you, so I bought it online and am sending it to you to wear (or am wanting to get it for you and just wanted to know the size/color) to the wedding. I loved that other dress, but this one seems way more you."
I've also seen weddings with the MOB in white and with the right dress it is lovely and doesn't upstage the bride at all. I think it's great that your mom tried to connect by wearing some green to match your wedding party!! I was actually talking to my mom about wearing some white/ivory or other wedding party colour so that it ties in with the bridal party a bit.
From the description, it sounds like the dress might be cute. I would not worry about the white since it seems like it is less than 1/3 the material of the dress. Even if it were entirely white, there is no way it will take away from the specialness or beauty of your wedding dress. Also, has she purchased it yet? Or just saw it in the store and likes it? Either way, she may change her mind about it as your wedding planning progresses since you are well over a year out.
I think it sounds okay. It's probably more of the issue that you feel like you two are always butting heads. And I know how in that situation, it's hard to tell when things just are the way they are or someone is doing something to instigate. From an etiquette standpoint, I think her dress is fine.
Eh. I don't think so. She shouldn't be wearing your wedding colors either. It's pretty much basic MOB/MOG dress etiquette. She has plenty of time, maybe she should keep looking, but remember to give the MOB plenty of time to find a similar dress.
Yikes. Mom issues are tough. My mom chose red. I really wanted her in a champagne or something less "wow" but in the end, she feels beautiful and I'm happy she's participating. Just go with it... chances are she'll buy another dress. :)
My mom wore the a white suit/dress I bought her a few years ago to several weddings. lol. I don't see any problem with it because of her age, if she was my sister and wearing some long white gown, I would be upset. But I think that older generations can get away with it because there is no way that people will mistaken her for a bride.
Well, I wore black & white to my daughter's wedding last year and she loved my dress. She was in diamond white and the BM's were in fuschia,GM in black tuxes. Since I found something I loved and she did as well, it wasn't an issue. I matched the bridal party and wedding colors and I wasn't even trying! lol Here's my Dad escorting me down the aisle.
I think you should let her wear what she wants since its so hard to find an appropriate dress as the MOB and MOG. Most things for our ages are pretty matronly,so you might want to trust her judgment with this. All eyes will be on you anyway!
I think the MOB and MOG should be sure to not clash with the wedding party for the sake of family photos. Other than that I think it is important she is happy and comfortable in her dress. I would not be concerned with white. If you think the brown will clash with the black, that may be an issue but it could also look fine. I would suggest you really ask her to take a photo (I know this is not easy with my mom but she'll turn on the web cam I bought her if I ask enough times to see something) before making any judgements.
My colors are black and white with a bit of green. My dress is Ivory, so I stick out a bit.. my mom is wearing a black and white dress. I'm fine with it, it matches the theme, and it sure as heck isn't going to compete with my dress! But that's my opinion.
I would say that you should see it first, then if you don't like it, talk to her about it.
I really think it'll be ok. The dress isn't all white, only partially. IMO, I don't really think it matters if she's in brown, and the bridemaids are in black. I know we're not going to have very many full group shots with parents, us and the bridesmaids... just a few.
My FMIL is wearing two tone champagne/brown, and my bridesmaids are in black and white. I just wouldn't stress too much about it; everyone will be looking at you anyways! I couldn't even tell you what the MOB/MOG wore to the last few weddings I was at :)
I wouldnt be upset but if you are let her know that you are wishing she would match the other ppl a little bit more. Then ask her to stay within a color palette and tell her you want everyone to be dressed in a different color from you so you stand out.
BTW I was just suggesting to my mom a dress that is part white/part gold pattern. I thought it might be nice to have her in a darker shade of white since so she would look a little bit similar to me. No i am second guessing this!!
After my mom asked me to go shopping with her for her MOB dress, she informed me that she had found one already while I was away at JC Penny on clearance. I was excited until she pulled it out and it was a shade of white! I was HORRIFIED! She told me it wouldn't clash but I think it's extremely rude and udderly disrespectful - especially since when growing up she was the one who warned my sister and I never to wear white to a wedding. I explained this to people I work with and my fiance and they believe that I should put my foot down and tell her NO. She has 10 months to find a dress. It's not like I am getting married next weekend!
Well I don't think it would clash or take away from you... BUUUUUT if it really bothers you that much you I would just communicate that with her. I know that really in this day the normal customs that we've all known for weddings has almost gone completely out the window.
Our wedding is a bit different as I found an article that talked about old french weddings and their all white cutoms..... so to be unique (like I so am) we are having an ALL white wedding party! YES!
Really though if it's something that really matters to you just talk to her, or see if you can get a pick and then decide if you think it'd really stand out all that much. =)
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So my mom just informed me she found her dress! Yay! (although, its a bit early, considering the wedding is Aug 2011!) Yay, until she tells me about it. She lives 2000 miles, and doesn't have a picture, but she describes it as follows...
A taffeta dress with a v-neck, wrap thingy (awesome descriptive word, btw), with our color of kiwi green as a wrap sash thingy (again). The dress is brown on the bottom with WHITE on the top (I'm guessing similar to that two-tone trend we're seeing everywhere). From DressBarn...
Am I rediculous for feeling frustrated & aggrivated (& more) right now? I mean - it's WHITE!! I also don't think the two-tone look is appropriate for the family/wedding party, nor am I a big fan of brown when everyone else will be in black (including my bridal party).
Has anyone seen this dress in DressBarn recently, or have a picture of it, better yet??
Let me also make note that she & I are always butting heads, regardless of how much I try to keep peace for the sake of my own sanity, but should I really just shut my mouth on this one?
Oy...please help.