- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Going anonymous for this post, just because I don’t want the stigma attached to my regular username 🙁 Warning: this might sound selfish in parts but I just want to get it out!
My mom has always been very verbally abusive toward me. She started drinking a lot when I was 18 and has since just been in a downward spiral. She gets drunk and sends me horrid strings of text messages about how I’ve abandoned my family (I moved from my hometown for my career), how I’m selfish and how she hates me, how I’m this horrible person (I’m really not a bad person, I promise!) etc. then acts like nothing happened the next day, refuses to apologize and insists she wasn’t drinking. She’s constantly on and off antidepressant medication, and though I’ve tried to be patient with her for years, I’m reaching the end of my rope.
She married a guy after dating him for one year, quit her job, became financially dependent on him, ‘tried to kill herself’ (i.e. took a bottle of pills in front of her step-son, not exactly sneaky), divorced the guy, moved in with my sister and I while we were in college, made us pay all her bills for 6 months, then got a job when I moved. Fast forward three years later, my sister has moved out and her ex husband has moved in with her. This week, 6 months before my wedding, she has decided to quit her job. Because she doesn’t like it. No job prospects whatsoever, just quits. Because she’s lazy. She missed work so many times, they were going to fire her, so she quit. My sister says she thinks she actually got fired.
I’m so stressed and upset over it this time because, although she seems to be in a slightly better place mentally than she was then (which I am thankful for), she owes me a LOT of money for wedding expenses. Basically half the cost of our photographer, $1000. I chatted with her when I booked our photographer and she said she’d give me $1000 from her tax return as her contribution to the wedding. It’s not a lot, but MOG and I are paying for most of the wedding expenses. Not to mention, she still has to buy a MOB dress, and I’m sure there will be a few other small expenses that come with being MOB.
I’ve got a feeling I won’t be seeing that money even when I ask for it in a couple of weeks, which means either the MOG or I will have to shoulder another $1000. There are enough stresses that come with a wedding, she could have stayed at her job a few more months and made my life a little easier…but no.
And don’t even get me started on the FOG. He is wealthy. Like, very wealthy. His parents are also very wealthy. I have a good relationship with them, although FI’s relationship with his father is a bit strained. (They talk, but not much, and its usually fairly formalized.) My blue-collar parents have each ponied up $1000 a piece for my wedding, MOG is paying $15,000 and I’m paying $10,000 (fresh out of grad school mind you!) He and his SO haven’t offered a penny. Not a cent. I asked FBIL & his wife, and they said he didn’t help with theirs either, and instead bought them a $500 vacuum cleaner that wasn’t even on their registry. I swear to you, Bees, mark my words, if he buys us a $500 vacuum cleaner that we don’t want or need instead of helping us with a videographer or honeymoon (both of which aren’t in the budget), I will tell him to keep it. Or shove it up his ass.
Except I won’t, because I’m a good person.