Weddingbee boards

I am totally in favor. I've seen some extreme rudeness and cattiness; despite flagging posts for blatantly violating the CoC, I haven't seen anything done about it. Every day, I see threads that remind me more and more of, well, you know. And it makes me sad, as well as just plain pisses me off. I joined the Bee to get away from that, and now there are a select few people who are just bringing the childishness and  snarkiness here.

@blondeeebuckeye: Flagging doesn't seem to do a whole lot, though. I was attacked in one of my own threads (an emotional vent, no less) a while ago and it took longer than I would have liked for it to finally be closed. And even then, there was only a slap on the wrist for some truly horrible things that were said to and about me.

What bothers me the most is that a few members are repeatedly catty and disrespectful, but nothing is done about it. I think something that would be helpful is that if someone comes into your thread and insults/attacks you, even if it doesn't directly violate the code of conduct, you should be able to ask them to leave--and flag the post (and have something done about it) if they refuse or get snotty. I've abandoned perfectly good threads just because a few people who seem to get a kick out of hating refuse to leave.

It seems like a lot of the threads that have become heated lately are about hot button issues/issues that strike a chord in a lot of readers. I think it's normal for those to get under people's skin...I would rather have that than a whole bunch of posting that's so superficially nice it doesn't even bring up a reaction (good or bad) in me. I think we all need to remember that this is an internet posting board, and we all have the ability to step back and take a breath, or even better, re read our comments before we hit post and see if we're really addressing the issue/post topic or if we're just using it as an opportunity to vent against someone/something.

Personal attacks are something that I think should be moderated.  I'm not sure what personal attacks could really add to a discussion and usually lead to a thread going crazy.  It's one thing to disagree with someone but when you attack someone (like repeatedly calling them a troll just because they have a different idea) it just adds nothing and gets everyone off topic.

@Minutiae: My thoughts, exactly. Maybe a "three strikes and you're out" policy?

@bakerella: well said.

I think that, for the most part, we all act like mature adults on the boards and do a good job of expressing our opinions without trying to impose them on others. The select few who choose to be snarky and attack others are in turn fed by others responding to their unsavory comments. It is usually best to ignore them. I think a little more moderation would be good though, repeat offenders should not be allowed to continue to post. It is unfair to the rest of the members who are here to be in a positive environment.

@bakerella: right back at ya!

@Minutiae: when those threads keep coming up, it's because members keep posting on them. That either means that they're enjoying the drama or they still have more to say. Either way, someone doesn't want the conversation to be over. As frustrating as it is to see the thread keep coming up, I don't think the answer is to just close it. People can choose not to post if they don't want to--if they do want to post then they should be able to (as long as it's not a personal attack, of course). They should just perhaps use a little more self moderation in their posting, as bakerella said.

@mrbee: I think it would be as simple as adding something to the code of conduct about not antagonizing others or being nasty. I like that idea too, though.

@mrbee: perhaps if a user's comments have been flagged a certain number of times? Not sure if you guys can even keep track of that, but it might be a fair way to moniter. Then again, that would open up the idea that people could repeatedly flag someone just to get them kicked off. Tough question to answer Mr. Bee, perhaps no easy solution, but at least we are making the issue known right? That's a start

@ktisthatbees: I think having a legitimate reason for flagging the user's comments--quality, in a sense, not quantity--would work the best. If a user's comments have been flagged for no reason, the number could be thrown out. However, if the user's comments have been inflammatory/in direct violation of the terms, that would be a point against them, and so on.

@Minutiae: I don't know, I have to disagree with you...I feel like a lot of the heated threads do not have trolls on them, they have wedding bee members who get very worked up and perhaps don't read before they post. I don't want to get off topic here, I guess my point is that I think it's unfortunate that posters would need to have posts closed for them/have posters banned because they themselves can't self moderate and prevent themselves from posting on a thread that is obviously not going anywhere good.

@smyley: Anyone could flag, but Mr. Bee (or other mods) would ultimately decide. It's objective in the sense that the mods would get the final say; they'd probably have no personal stake in the threads.

There have been a LOT of pointless posts lately that are just inflammatory for the sake of being rude and unkind. It's not a matter of being "too sensitive"; it's a matter of choosing to be horrible to others for the sake of doing it.

@hilsy85: A lot of the heated threads seem to have 2-3 posters in common who've just been stirring up a ton of trouble lately...they're obviously not self-moderating, so something should be done, imo.

@Statutory Grape: yeah good point. I guess that would only work though if admin had the time/resource to keep up with which are legitimate flags, which ones can be thrown out etc. Could potentially be incredibly time consuming for the admins. But I agree that flagging in some form or another is the best way to moniter.