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I wouldn't worry. It might create bad blood if you tell her what to wear, and it probably will look different in person than online, anyway, so she may be right!
I'd go look at the color in person before you get worked up about. The online colors are never right. It might actually be lighter than it looks.
I'd tell her that you want her to stand out from the bridesmaids if the color actually does end up being too close. And then I'd suggest something else. Does the dress she likes only come in that one color?
I can't get store that carries the color to look at it today and she's ordering the dress today/tomrorow. I just checked and it was one of the colors I was choosing for my BM. She said the colors aren't exactly the same, it's "one shade lighter". What the heck?
I don't want to tell her what to wear, either, but I really wish she'd be more considerate when she picks her dress color... She originally likes another color before going into the store, but then fell in love with the other color. She said silver is "ok", but she loves the lavender. *rolls eyes*. I can't find myself to say no to her but I am also not comfortable with it. Ugh.
Oh man, you're in a tough spot. You could try to tell her that you looked at it, and it is the same color as your BM's dresses, and you'd prefer if she went with the silver. If that doesn't work, i think you're just going to have to let her order the purple.
Maybe you can give the bridesmaids pashminas or something so they will stand out.
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I just very recently decided purple as the color of my bridesmaid dresses and it'll be ordered soon. My FMIL fell in love with a dress that is "lavender" and she said it's a "a shade lighter" than the BM dresses (she was in the store shopping so she was able to compare the colors next to each other)... She asked me if it's ok.. At first I thought it's a lavender (much lighter) color so I said it's fine, but I got online to check and the color is VERY similar to the color of my BMs dresses.. it's a dark purple Is that ok? I know I am not supposed to dictate what the mothers should wear but I am feeling a little weird about the BMs and the FMIL wearing similar colors full length dresses..
Tell me if I am overreacting, please!