(Closed) MOG dress a bit much…help

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I...
    Let it go, everyone knows thats how she dresses and would expect nothing less : (37 votes)
    49 %
    Intervene and talk to her about it : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Have my FH talk to her about it : (37 votes)
    49 %
    Other (explain below) : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee

    Oh, lordy.  This is a tough one.  I voted for “let it go”, because she will be the one who looks totally inappropriate at the wedding.  Not you or your girls.  Um, I mean your bridesmaids. 

    My friend’s mother wore a huge ivory ballgown to her wedding.  It looked like there were 2 brides.  It was so awkward.  Everyone just ended up feeling sorry for her mom.   Some people only feel good about themselves when they are the center of attention.  Perhaps your future MIL is that way.

    The only thing I may do – if your family is conservative – is maybe ask her to wear a wrap or shawl for the ceremony (if it’s in a church) or maybe the pictures?

    You could play the conservative card here, if that’s a factor.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Is your FH uncomfortable with it?  I would leave it up to him whether or not anything should be said.  I certainly can’t imagine that my husband would be comfortable with his mom wearing something like that, no matter how in shape she is.  She is an adult and should be allowed to dress herself, but I think her son has the right to let her know if she is making him uncomfortable on his own wedding day.  He can’t force her to change what she’s wearing, but he can let her know how he feels about it and leave it up to her what to do.

    Post # 5
    Member
    233 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    If that is the way she normally dresses theres nothing you can do about it. She just wont listen to you or your FI. They wont talking about you at the wedding, if they have any comments they probably wont say anything if they’re used to seeing her wearing things like that.

    Post # 6
    Member
    647 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Don’t say anything, it’s her business how she dresses herself.  It’s going to reflect on her, not you.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I’d show it to your FI and see what he thinks. Then let him decide if he needs to intervene. People will notice and talk but if it’s not going to bother or embarrass him then I’d let it slide.

    Post # 8
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I like the idea of adding a wrap or something for the pictures. Maybe you could even get her one as a gift that matches the dress and surprise her with your thoughtfulness.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I wouldn’t worry with it now.  She could honestly change her mind from now to then and why get everyone worked up now.  If she is still planning to wear the dress in 3-4 months prior to the wedding then deal with it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    962 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I agree it’s too soon to worry about it…  but I’m curious, did she ask your opinion about it?  My FMIL wanted to buy a purple dress she liked, but knew that my MOHs were wearing purple, so she called and asked if I minded if she wore the same color.  I didn’t care and she bought it – but she did check with me first.  Before even shopping, she checked what style I would prefer and what my mothers were wearing.  Perhaps just open up that line of communication with her – and be honest, but kind.  Good luck.

    Post # 12
    Member
    570 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @CAmrs:

    Let the women dress as she pleases, you met her that way .  Just be happy on your day and if you are worried she will out shine you don’t worry all eyes are on the bride on a wedding day.

    Not sure why you had to change your name on weddingbee

    Post # 14
    Member
    570 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @CAmrs:

    Good move, I would definetely change my name as well especially if my future Inlaw reads the posts.

    Now I see your point, that her choice of dress is not appropriate for a wedding.  From your post I am assuming your family is a bit conservative.

    Let’s just  cross our fingers that those jugs don’t fit in the dress and that they constantly pop out when she tries it on so that she will mail order another not so flashy dress.   Laughing

    Post # 15
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I wouldn’t let it go- quite honestly, that would really bother me, personally.  I would have FI talk to her about it, that she needs to wear something more appropriate.  Oh my goodness!

    Post # 16
    Member
    493 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Are you getting married in a church? Maybe you could lie and say there’s some sort of unstated old school expectation of modesty in that particular church where it’s tradition for the mother of the bride and mother of the groom to be very covered up. lol  Poor girl, I’m sorry you have to deal with this!  I know it’s not nice, but I’d probably urge my fiance to talk his mother out of that dress if I really didn’t think it was appropriate.  I’d put the responsibility on his shoulders. 🙂

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