Post # 1
Please help and be easy please I’m so upset right now and in tears not because of what she wants to wear but because of the way it all blew up. My colors are moss green and eggplant with all shades of both colors and maybe a hint of yellow.
A few days ago my Future Mother-In-Law sent a picture with her all in black it was a classy little dress but I told my Fiance that it’s an outside wedding(in August) and black might be a little inappropriate and hot Plus the MOG/MOB aren’t really supposed to wear black. Just trying to help not trying to be a bridezilla.
Now she wants to wear bright blue. I nicely told her that most of the mothers wear a hint of the same colors coordinating with the wedding. Am I totally wrong on this? She said she can wear anything she wants because they’re paying for a good portion of the wedding. I said ok I was just trying to coordinate everyone a little better because we will all be in pictures together. She said she has been a vocalist in many weddings and the mothers wear whatever they want….ok….I kindly spoke back….I’ve been in 6 weddings as a bridesmaid and all of the mothers have color coordinated with the shades.I didn’t want to fire back like that but I felt like I had to stand up for what I think is going on right now in the modern world. I need your pics right now please of Brides with bridesmaids and the mothers. I finally told her ya know wear whatever you want. If it makes you feel good then that’s what matters. I’m giving up but i need piece of mind right now that I’m not completely out of line here. Thanks girls you are my sanity through this crazy and chaotic wedding time I don’t know what i would do with out you.
Post # 3
My mom wore a sapphire blue and his mom wore fuschia. My colors were turquoise and sage. I wouldn;t worry too much about what they are supposed to wear. As long as they are happy in the end that is all that matters.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Below is what Martha Stewart says on MOB/MOG dresses. Neither my Mom, Future Mother-In-Law, or Stepmom are coordinating with my wedding colors. The knot says similar things to Martha-I’ve always heard that they should be different than your colors, not match.
“The MOB and MOG dress-buying rule is simple: The MOB chooses her dress first, then lets the MOG know what she’s wearing. Of course if the two women are friends, they can go shopping together with their color palette in mind (that should be determined in a conversation with the bride), or they can speak by phone about their plans. The goal isn’t to match perfectly, but rather not to clash. For example, if the MOB wears a long eggplant-hued dress, the MOB should wear an equally rich color, like jade or bronze. One more thing to remember: The dress code of the wedding — and the length of the bridesmaids dresses — should determine the length of the MOB and MOG’s dresses.”
Post # 5
I’m sorry I can’t support you on this one. The parents of the bride and groom are in my opinion just that, parents. They should be able to wear whatever they want, just like any other person at the wedding – regardless of whether or not they are paying.
I would just encourage her to wear what she feels happy, beautiful and comfortable in. It’s impossible for everyone at the wedding to “match”; I’m sure your pictures will still look great.
For what it’s worth, I’ve been to 6 weddings in the past year and a half, and the mother of bride/groom has not once coordinated the colour of their attire to the wedding colours.
Post # 6
If it’s important to you that she wear a coordinating color, then you need to be firm on articulating that, but there is no rule or standard dictating that MOG or MOB need to dress in a certain color. I was in a wedding last year where the colors were poppy and yellow, and MOG wore electric coral with matching louboutins. Whatever.
Post # 7
Thanks girls this is very mind opening to me and I’m loving’ your input.
Post # 8
Honestly, is this really the battle you want to have?
ETA – My bias: my mom wore black to my wedding and rocked it, and it never would have occurred to me to be bothered by it. I think the moms should wear what they feel best in.
Post # 9
Aw hun, sorry you’re so upset! She was rude to say she can wear whatever she wants just because she’s paying.
I wouldn’t try to coordinate the MOG dress with your color scheme though. ¬ She isn’t part of the bridal party.
Post # 10
I just saw wedding pictures of a friend where the MOB wore lavender and the MOG wore bright red. Not once did I look at her pictures and think, “You know, that wedding was really missing something because the mothers didn’t coordinate with the wedding colors or each other.”
I get that you might have had a vision or ideal of what you wanted, but I don’t think this is a battle worth fighting if she’s contributing to the wedding. Hell, even if she wasn’t contributing, I’d wonder if this is really an argument you want to focus on for your wedding day.
Post # 11
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this stress.
I would say let this one go and let her wear whatever the hell she wants, regardless of what’s traditional, if for no other reason than because you are NOT going to win an argument with someone who uses the fact that they’re paying for something as a reason to override your requests. Let it go.
And don’t worry about how it will look – I’m sure the pictures will turn out just fine.
Post # 12
I’ve seen dozens of threads on here about the MOG or MOB wearing colors the bride did not agree with. You’re not alone! I wouldn’t let it get to you. Right now it seems like a huge deal but when you get your photos back you will forget it was even an issue.
Post # 13
my mother, Mother-In-Law and step mother wore whatever they wanted to wear. they knew the wedding colours so they bought dresses that didn’t clash.
Post # 14
I thought this was going to be one of those “she’s planning to wear white” threads.
The parents are not part of the wedding party, so there’s not really any reason for them to be wearing the wedding colors. That is, unless you want to make her part of the wedding party. But you’d have to expressly communicate that to her.
Post # 15
@LibertyBelle: Not once did I look at her pictures and think, “You know, that wedding was really missing something because the mothers didn’t coordinate with the wedding colors or each other.”
OP, if this were my future Mother-In-Law, I’d just let her go with it. It wasn’t so long ago that all the bridesmaids were in the exact same magenta taffeta dress with identical french twists and dyed-to-match satin pumps. The hyper-coordinated wedding may have run its course.
Post # 16
Sorry, I dont think the moms have to cordinate with the bridal party. And I dont even think it really matters.. who really has the moms/dads in teh pictures with the bridal party anyways?? (unless i totally misssed that one) You have your bridal party pictures, you have your parent pictures.. totally separate and therefore irrelavant what MOB/Gs wear. My colors were red/purple. MOG wore gold, and my mom wore dark eggplant… they just bought whatever they thought looked best on them.