- 4 years ago
I posted on here once a couple weeks ago but I’m back… I need some opinions as to whether I’m completely in the wrong or not.
So I’m the Maid/Matron of Honor in my best friend’s wedding. However, since this wedding planning started the whole thing has been a disaster. There are 5 of us in the bridal party, I only know one girl and the other 3 are best friends. In May (4 months before her wedding) we all started talking about planning the shower. Almost immediately they all went to my best friend and basically said I wasn’t “fulfilling my maid of honor duties” by taking complete control of the shower planning and “leading” everyone in the planning. As far as I knew, we were all a part of the planning process since we all were going to chip in to pay for it. I’m not an overly outgoing person and not really the leader type, however I have been in weddings before and never had an issue working as a group planning wedding-related things. It’s supposed to be a fun time, not stressful. Things seemed ok between us but then they went to her and acted like I wasn’t “taking control”. It caused a big argument among everyone and since then I felt resentment towards those 3 girls.
Well now it’s happening again regarding the bachelorette. Again… we ALL started making loose plans about it a few weeks back, and I felt we were all on the same page. They went to her again and told her how I’m not “leading” everyone in the plans. Again… I’m not sure how one day it seems like we’re all in agreement when we all talk about it but then they go to her acting like I’m supposed to be the ring leader. My best friend just came to me with this whole sob story about how she wants to make sure I actually want to be the maid of honor in this wedding. Like, are you serious? I have been there for her through every process including picking out her wedding dress, going with her to pick out and buy the flowers, and helping her pick out her own songs for the DJ . I’ve spent almost $500 so far on a dress, shoes, alterations, the shower, a shower gift, jewelry, and I STILL need to pay for a wedding gift, my hair/makeup, and this bachelorette. Keep in mind – I was laid off a couple months ago, so I am going through all of this and paying for this wedding without having a job. I feel very insulted that I’m constantly being put under a microscope and judged based on the fact that I’m not solely taking responsibility for these activities. As far as I’m concerned, being maid of honor is not a “job” where I’m expected to fulfill certain duties to everyone’s liking. I am spending a lot of time and money being in this wedding and I don’t feel I’m being appreciated. The thing that hurts the most is I actually feel that I’m doing the right thing yet I’m being trash talked and critiqued by people that I barely know and don’t like. I tried explaining this to her but it doesn’t seem like she understands. I really am starting to reach my limit with this wedding. I have never been a part of something with people who have acted like this. Am I in the wrong here?