Weddingbee boards

I assume that since she is your MOH you must be close, if this is uncharacteristic of her just try to let it roll off you, its probably hormones or stress.  I have found already selfish friends get overly selfish when they are pregnant.  Nothing you can do about it, just try not to damage your friendship 2 years from now.  Let it go, you are not responsible for her behaviour.  Also as a friend maybe you should ask her is she needs someone to help with some of the MOH tasks due to her pregnancy

Why would the guests ask if they should give a gift?  Isn't that customary for a shower?  That is what I find strange.  As for her, she is probably just hormonal.  And while she may have suggested they get their hair and makeup done, she maybe didn't realize all the costs would add up so much?  Just tell her that since you aren't requiring them to get it done, you don't feel it is your responsibility, and she is welcome to do her hair/makeup however she pleases.  She wanted the job of shower planner, and she got it - not your problem.  I didn't expect any gift from my wedding party, for the shower or wedding.  I think its odd that she won't spend $40, but she doesn't really have to give you anything.  I would just focus on the part about paying for her hair and stuff, which you don't have to do, and if you do it for one you should do it for all - so don't do it at all!  It also sounds like the shower can't have cost much, if its not being catered or anything....She is probably just worried about money because of the baby.

I am so sorry you are being subjected to this silliness.  Sounds like this is a typical case of MOH-remorse.  She accepted the role because it felt good to be picked.

But when money starts being spent and the time commitment is clearly evident, MOHs & BMs have a tendency to get annoyed, and sometimes resentful.  It's terrible because you wouldn't expect it from someone who was important enough that you picked her as your MOH. 

She'll never admit it, but she might be having trouble dealing with the attention & spotlight on you.  So she wanted to take on the shower host duties so she could shine a little, but she seems annoyed about the costs and time commitment.

I would definitely talk to her, and let her know you feel like she is stressed and not happy, and you wouldn't want her role as MOH to cause issues.  If it's too much, then ask her to assing some duties/costs to the other BMs who have offered to help. 

And I agree with what the gals said above about hair & makeup.  If she doesn't want to pay for it, then she's welcome to do her own. I'm assuming you discussed costs upfront & early, so it's her decision to make.  Good luck, breath, and try not to take it personally.  Weddings cause people to freak sometimes.

the whole point of a shower is to get gifts...WHY ELSE would you have one????

All her questions/concerns/b*tching has been about money...maybe that perfect facade...I make more money than you...is just NOT TRUE. Maybe the whole MOH business is causing stress in her relationship due to the spending?? tho it sounds like so far...everybody else is pitching in, maybe not with real $$ but she's cutting costs by asking others to bring stuff...

 I don't quite get it...I hate when people say "oh, she's pregnant..is hormonal" but I guess in this case it could be...how far along is she? It could also be resentment that everything is about you and not her baby??? 

This may be a silly question, but it goes off what V said - is anybody throwing her a shower?  Is that something that might be your responsibility as her friend?  (I know usually its family, but sometimes if there isn't a lot of family or family isn't around, it falls on the friend.)  I don't mean to heap anything on you, but it is possible that she expected you to be there for her the way you expect her to be there for you, and since both of you have your own stuff going on, neither of you can fulfill your obligations.  

If somebody did, maybe that's where she got her idea about showers versus the wedding - for a baby shower, you register, because there isn't really an "event" like a wedding.  Maybe remind her of this and tell her that while you don't expect it from her, other people may anticipate buying both a shower and wedding gift and nobody registers separately for a shower.  

I second reminding her about the hair/makeup thing - tell her that you didn't budget for paying for hers because she had said it was her/the other bridesmaids responsibilities.  But if you have a makeup handy friend/relative, ask her to help your MOH/other BMs out with makeup instead of her paying for that herself - that will help bring the cost down for everybody.  

Are you sure the gift is $40?  Maybe that was supposed to be each person's share?  Was it a gift you would really like, because then it really is the thought that counts.  

The economy is hitting everybody hard right now - maybe her fancy job costs a lot in gas money to get to, or she is staring down the cost of a LOT of diapers, baby supplies, and child care costs.  Pregnancy and children can make people very consumed with frugality.  Maybe say gently to her, "you seem to be having a lot of financial difficulty lately.  Is being my MOH too much of a drain on you?" and then see how you can help out.