MOH asked a question & I *need* the bee

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

No, theres is no traditional gift she has to give!  Just something from the heart!

Post # 4
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MsDontRushME:  I did not know, nor do I think it makes sense, that a MOH (or anyone for that matter) has a specific pre-set gift to be given that is written in stone. Who comes up with this sh:t? Tell her to relax & just be your friend. 

Also, now that I look back at your threads I see what you mean with ‘thread killer’. Strange. 

Post # 5
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I have NO expectations of my MOH buying me any sort of obligatory gift. I did not do those things for weddings in which I was the MOH and didn’t even know it was a thing. I did the planning of the showers and bachelorettes, bought a gift for the shower and for the wedding (cash) that was it! Your MOH doesn’t have to do anything just because the internet says so. You and she need to sit down and talk about what’s expected of each other and go from there!

Post # 6
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MsDontRushME:  No there is no gift that MOH’s are supposed to give. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2642 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MsDontRushME:  Uh, I have NEVER heard of the MOH gifting those specific things, or things in general.  Typically, the MOH organizes the shower and bachelorette, gives a speech, and helps you with anything you need.  But those are all optional.  All she really has to do to be a good MOH, is show up clean, sober, in the right dress, hold your boquet, smile during pictures, sign your marriage license, and, in general, just be a loving and supportive friend.

Beware of the Wedding Industry.  They will tell you that you need all these things and your MOH and BMs should do all these other things, and the parents need to do x,y, and z too.  But the Wedding Industry doesn’t give a flying fuck about your or your family or your friends and all of your relationships or your budget or your sanity.  It just wants your monies.

Post # 8
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I just read your other threads, lol. I don’t think many people go on the Food/Cooking board, and the other one was specific to 11/2013 brides but didn’t say so in the title so I think people just read it, thought, oh I’m not 11/13 and clicked away. 😉

Post # 9
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MsDontRushME:  My MOH didn’t give me anything (as she shouldn’t)–she bought her BM dress and made my life easier! She harassed the DOC when we got to the Church and the pew bows weren’t up, she fielded my Mom (who was trying to get my friends to leave at 10pm the night before the wedding). She was THE best MOH!

Post # 10
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’ve never heard of a specific/obligatory gift the MOH has to give. I’d just tell her to get what she chooses for you if she wants to get you something.

Post # 11
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

She is not obligated to do anything but get the dress and show up on the day sober to stand up with you. Tell her not to stress.  Anything else is completely her choice.  I don’t know who writes all that crap about the ‘job’ of MOH or bridesmaid.  Sheesh.

Post # 13
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MsDontRushME:  No. I’ve never heard of a list of gifts certain people are supposed to give you. It sounds like she’s really trying to be a good MOH, but maybe is stressing herself out more than necessary. I think the “typical” MOH duties are to throw a bachelorette party, bridal shower, that type of stuff? It totally depends on the bride and the couple and what you want.

I had a bachelorette party, which all of my BMs planned (after asking me what type of stuff I wanted to do) and no bridal shower. My MOH used to be a florist and offered to do the flowers. She didn’t buy me a gift, which is totally fine with me. Some of our wedding party got us gifts, others didn’t. I don’t really care. I was just happy to have my favorite people around me on my wedding day. 

Post # 14
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee

@MsDontRushME:  haha I’d tell her to quit reading whatever bogus junk she’s reading and just be there for you! No stress (or weird special pre-set gifts) required 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MsDontRushME:  No, etiquette does not demand anything of a MOH other than that she show uo on time for the ceremony.

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